The Hogwarts Chronicles: The Alchemist
by Deception Alchemist
Summary: There's a race for the Philosopher's Stone! It's between Oro, Dante, and Voldie. Aaand, the shinobi of Konoha, and Ed and Mustang. Put that with the Golden Trio's tendency to find trouble, equals a huge mess. updates very rare... Not given up on though!
1. Prologue

**Yep! My first prologue. Actually, at first, I didn't plan on writing one. And then I thought why not. So here it is! Not to worry, the next chapter is 11,000+. Yes. I'm surprised too. It's really amazing. But I wanted to write a long story for once. You know, with hellllla long chapters. Hopefully I can keep this up for the other chapters in this story. And it won't sink down to my usual 3,000-4,000 range. But seriously, that's like four times! **

A man approached a large house hidden in a large forest. He knocked hesitantly, as if he had second thoughts about this. The door creaked open slowly, the classic creepy door opening in movies and TV shows. Nobody was on the other side.

"What do you want?" another figure said, sneering in the other person's face. This person was androgynous down to the last hair. To the last strand of green dreadlocked hair.

"I'm here to make a deal," the figure said. Or more accurately, a snake chimera. It wasn't even done properly. Or at least that's how it looked like.

"I'm not surprised. Our reputation here has spread far everywhere, even across the Gate," the androgynous boy said.

"Which is exactly why I'm here. I need you-" the first man said.

"Hold on, what exactly makes you think that we'll help you in the first place?" a woman with a heavily lined face said. She had just entered the room to figure out why her 'child' was making such loud noises. Apparently it wasn't what the 'chimera' expected. Not in the least.

"Because I've got information you'd do anything to get," the first man smirked as he regained his posture.

"Oh?" It was the old woman again.

"Information on the Philosopher's Stone."

"You got me, go on."

"It's at a school. Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Ha! You're lying. Magic doesn't exist," the second person said.

"Quiet. What everyone says isn't necessarily true. You wouldn't exist if it was," the woman scolded.

"It does. On the other side. Not everybody knows of it though. Only the select few that learn it." The first man said this.

"And what, exactly, do you want us to do?" The woman again.

"I want you to get it for me. In exchange, I'll let you have some of it. Enough for you to stay alive for another, say two hundred," the man said.

"How many years will it let someone live in total?"

"Four hundred years. Be happy, I was being generous, that I'm giving you half," the man said sourly.

"I hear you're quite skilled in your arts too. Why would you need us? Never mind. How about this? I'll take one hundred fifty. But in return, you have to help us too," the woman smirked. _Of course, when I get it, I'll be keeping all of it._

"May I ask what you're using it for?" she asked.

"I'll be using it to completely demolish some of my enemies," the man said.

"I understand. Now do we have a deal?"

"Yes we do," the man agreed.

**If you can't tell who's who...wow. I _think_ I made everybody pretty clear, with describing them. At least I _hope_ I did...**


	2. Chapter 1

**Sorry if Edward seems OOC, but I haven't watched or read FMA in ages, and I've been reading a lot of other mangas, so the main characters might be all mixed up into Edward. :) Anyway, I got so impatient cuz I only got 3 hits so far. And no anythings yet. But I guess that's to be expected with less than one day up and only a little over 500 words. So here's the 11,000+ chap! :) By the way, if anybody's got any ideas for another title, I'll be happy to hear them out. And, my dad's already made me start writing the fantasy story XP Yuck.  
**

"_**English when there's in Konoha, Japanese in Europe**_**"**

Colonel Mustang wasn't doing much…hell he never did that much. Really, even when he was fighting, all he had to do was snap his fingers...unless it was raining…in which case he'll be useless. No…actually, he'd be worse than that. A lot worse than that actually. He'd be a hassle to everybody. He'd forget about his weakness and Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye would have to trip him and shoot whoever Mustang was aiming at. Or whoever was the enemy, usually the same person. Too much work, really, to take care of him. So either way, he didn't do much when fighting. Either snapping or getting tripped by someone several ranks lower than he was. Ouch. That's gotta leave a big bruise on Mustang's big ego. His pride too, no pun intended.

And then there was paperwork…that death of all Colonels, Brigadier Generals, Generals, and whoever else you could think of. Those dreaded stacks a mile high waiting to be read and signed. Yes, truly the killer of all people. And Colonel Mustang always happened to be the unlucky one. Whenever he finally finished one large stack, he'd drop his pen, lean back and rest. Only to find Breda and Hawkeye holding more stacks for him to sign. Which is exactly why on one late August afternoon, Mustang was looking through a stack of mail. Much, much easier than to signing…those…damn...bastard…papers.

IF you asked him, which nobody suggests as you will just get burnt to a crisp for mentioning the word 'paperwork', he'll say that he swears that all those who write those forms are devils or are homunculi and deserved to be killed. Actually…the homunculi part is true, but another reason to kill the Furher, so everybody's happy right? Well probably not King Bradley, but who cares about him? He'll also say that everybody in the military agrees with him. Not that anyone will even bother to disagree. But then again, it kind of helps that he always has his ignition gloves on when he asks someone. Unless that person would like to be a human french fry. Maybe that'll taste good.

Mustang felt a shudder all of a sudden. It seemed like someone had mentioned the word paperwork. He looked up. Hm, nobody in the vicinity, except Havoc who was talking to the mailman…er mail woman or mail girl? Either way she was HOT.

_Note to self: steal the hot mailwoman from Havoc as soon as he gets a first date. Better get back to the mail before Hawkeye comes in with…with…the dreaded things. _Bills…bills…a love letter…another love letter…and another one…and a request from General Hakuro to turn in those papers that were due a month ago…he'll get back to that one. Maybe.

Probably.

Hopefully.

Eventually.

Never.

Another note from General Hakuro to turn in the mission report due a week ago. Hmm, there was still time. He'd get back to that one. Maybe

Probably.

Hopefully.

Eventually.

Never.

Mustang shook his head. What an odd feeling he just got. Déjà vu. He went back to the stack of mail in his hands.

And would you look at that! Another four love letters all from that girl at the flower shop. What was her name…was it…no, no, that's not right…ah, oh well. He better cut off the relationship soon or else she'll get clingy…whoever she was. And a note from a friend that wasn't Hughes gushing about Elysia and/or Gracia. FINALLY! Something that wasn't business related. He slit it open with his thumb only to find stuff to do with…work. He cursed silently. Why was it that if you were in the military, everything you did had to be related to WORK? Thankfully, he was an all-new type of military officer. Combining work with the chance to see hot girls, not that there was many in the military. But at least if you were in the military, you could go out and say you were going on a solo job looking for clues when you were scoping for hot babes.

He read the letter again. Well that wasn't fair. Fullmetal gets what he's looking for?! Well maybe if he went along with Fullmetal, he'd be able to get away from those dreaded things. Paperwork.

But that led him to another question. Why on earth had he joined the military? To spend some quality time with papers that he wanted to tear up and burn up? Or at least why he didn't just quit now. All he does all day is do horrible, horrible paperwork leading him to have hand cramps every stinkin' day.

"Fullmetal, come in here!" Mustang yelled.

The door was shoved open to reveal an abnormally small…umm, I meant an abnormally _tall _teenager. Behind him was an abnormally large tin can…er, I mean a regular sized suit of armor. Who, next to the 'tall' teenager seemed like a giant! Seriously, he was like a full three feet taller than the shrimp! Uhhh, never mind about the shrimp part, I meant giant. Just in case Edward happens to read this, and track me down. Lord knows what he'll do to me. He might make me as short as he was!

Edward sneezed.

"What now, Colonel Bastard?" Edward asked…well grumbled actually. The look was ruined by the fact he was rubbing his nose. Oh lord, another thing he has on me.

"Brother, you should be nicer to Colonel _Mustang_," the Alphonse sighed. To tell the truth, he was already much too used to Edward's attitude, and just said it out of habit.

"Hmf." Edward sniffed. Both from the sneeze that he got from me and from being defiant to Alphonse.

"I've got a solid lead to the Philosopher's Stone-" Mustang started.

"Really?! Where? Wait…this better not be another one of those wild goose chases you've given me," Edward changed from being excited to doubtful in a matter of seconds like the way only he could.

"It's not a wild goose chase, hence the word solid. It's at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft-" Mustang started again.

"Witchcraft? Isn't that like magic? Which doesn't EXIST?" Edward cut off the colonel again. This time it was from doubtful to angry. Really, who did Mustang think he was, giving him all this rubbish information? Oh right…his superior.

"Fullmetal! Listen to me before interrupting!" Mustang snapped, not his fingers, thank goodness. Edward's lucky; he won't be turned into a human french fry. "Now, as I was saying, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And yes, magic does exist. I would know, I've been there was I was a teenager. Anyway, you'll be posing as a first year, as you have had no previous magic experience. You'll fit the height requirements too." Mustang smirked. Now he remembered why he decided not to quit the military. It was too much fun torturing little old Edward. Or at least calling him shrimp, small, pipsqueak and any other word that came to his mind that meant small.

Edward's vein throbbed as he shouted, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICRO CHIBI?"

Oh yeah, he couldn't forget chibi.

"You, I don't see anyone else I can barely see. Anyway you'll be a first year, but you've already trained as an alchemist at out Military Academy. I'll go with you as a Professor if you need any help, and knowing the type of trouble you get in, you'll need it. Oh, and Al can't go with you." Oh lord, oh lord, Mustang'll be dead now. Forbidding Al from going with him. Tsk tsk tsk.

"WHAT?!" Edward screeched.

"This is an uncover job, And Al is too conspicuous too be allowed to go."

"Al always comes with me though!" Edward yelled.

"Not this time, you'll be in a castle filled with teenagers. How do you think it'll look if there's a seven-feet tall suit of armor with you?" Mustang said.

"Just say that it's a habit like we usually do," Edward countered.

"It's already hard enough to hide your automail, but what do you think will happen if somebody finds out that Al doesn't have a body?" Mustang asked.

Edward thought for a minute, before finally giving in.

"Fine!" he grumbled. "But Al has to be able to visit, right?"

"Yes, there will be some breaks during the school year where there will be less students. Al can pretend to be your Uncle or something and wears armor as protection during the Ishballan revolt and wears it now as he is used to it. You don't need to know anything more. You might accidentally let things slip. Oh and by the way, we'll be pretending you're a half-blood, a person with wizard and Muggle blood. Muggle is a person with no magic abilities."

"Ok, sheesh," Edward grumbled, still upset about the fact Al wasn't allowed.

"I'll take you to get the supplies tomorrow. Oh and Hughes went with me, but he never really caught on to magic, so he gave up," Mustang said looking through the letter to make sure there was a supplies list. He didn't want to get caught trying to remember the first-years list from nearly two decades ago. He glanced upward and saw Edward with his mouth gaping open, like a bewildered fish.

_Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that yet…?_

"Hughes too?!" He finally managed to sputter out. Edward thought for a while. That would make sense…kinda…sorta…not really. Well actually it does make sense. How else would he be able to take that many pictures? It's just not humanly possible.

"Yes, don't tell anybody, nobody would like hearing there are two wizards and a witch in the military," Mustang said, shooing Edward out the door. Edward did go out side, but not without a healthy large slam of the door using his _right_ hand. That resulted in a quivering of the walls, shaking of pictures and certificates hung on the walls, and Mustang nearly losing his balance.

"So he's going to Hogwarts too," Hawkeye sighed. She used a cloth to rub her gun free of any smudges it might have gotten. It was practically a warning sign to Mustang not to mess with her any time in the next fifteen minutes. She likes to take her time.

"Yes, I remember when I was there all those years ago," Mustang laughed, "Potter's son should be going to Hogwarts this year too…"

"I know he was one of your best friends, but that was a long time ago, Smoke(1)" Hawkeye said.

"Haha, I haven't been called that name in a while," Mustang laughed sadly.

"I know it's hard, but you have to move on. One thing you can move on to is to that large stack of paperwork you've got sitting on your desk, and if you don't finish those by tomorrow, you'll be the one a long time ago."

"Yes ma'am," Mustang said, in mock salute. He turned slowly…very slowly. He faced the paperwork. It stared back at him. Wait, no, he was just hallucinating or dreaming…or both. Papers can't stare…could they?

From outside, a gunshot could be heard and a large yelp before the loud scratching of a pen scribbling something furiously.

Meanwhile, outside the two Elric brothers were talking to each other about this new assignment.

"I swear, it's another one of Mustang's wild goose chase," Edward grumbled. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Well this must be some valuable goose if Mustang's going along with you," Alphonse said.

"Hmf, I bet he just wants to check out all the girls there," Edward sniffed.

"Brother, don't talk about him like that," Alphonse sighed. Really, his brother was way too much.

"But he made you stay back here in Central," Edward said.

"He also gave me permission to look through the library though," Alphonse defended. "Even if the Hogwarts stone is a fake, or it's just another useless clue, maybe I can find something in the library. Or another way to get our bodies back, without killing anybody."

Edward sighed. There was no argument about that. Alphonse staying behind did save time if the stone was a fake. But it would waste time if the stone was a real one.

"Fine, but you better not get into anything dangerous," Edward warned.

"Wow, brother you sound like me for once," Alphonse said. "And you better not do anything rash. It's hard enough keeping you alive when you have to face Winry's wrench, and don't you forget to tell her that you're going to Hogwarts."

"Don't worry, I'm not that stupid," Edward said laughed.

Alphonse sighed. Yes his brother was that stupid.

* * *

In the Hokage tower, there were eight shinobi plus a ticked off Hokage and her assistant, and a perverted Sannin. Naruto was being Naruto. Sakura was eyeing Naruto carefully, just to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Shikamaru was saying how troublesome this was. Temari was whacking him for saying that. Neji was glaring at Naruto because Hinata like him. Tsunade was rubbing her temples. Shizune was laughing nervously behind Tsunade holding Ton-Ton. Jiraiya was giggling pervertedly, inwardly rooting for a cat fight between Sakura and Ino. Needless to say, it was cramped in there.

Tsunade was ticked. Very very ticked. Here she was, wanting to get a nice big bottle of sake and sleep on her desk. Well maybe not _one_ big bottle, more like a dozen, maybe two dozen. Either way, she wanted some sake and to sleep. But nooooo, Jiaraiya just had to come and bring information that Orochimaru figured out a way to become immortal. And the worst part of it was that if Orochimaru was going to be there...so was Sasuke. Which made her have to deal with Naruto and his 'I'll get Sasuke back if it's the last thing I do!' ideas. It probably would be the last thing he did. She sighed. The shinobi in her office were making too much noise. One of her veins bulged.

"SHUT UP YOU GUYS!" Tsunade finally cracked. Her fist went down on the desk causing it to break under the weight and collapse. "...Whoops."

"Tsunade baa-chan, why are we here, and it's so stuffy in here," Naruto asked fully aware that he was pushing Tsunade to her limits. Well maybe not fully aware. More like one percent aware. Ok, maybe like not aware at all.

"IF YOU LET ME EXPLAIN, YOU MIGHT KNOW!" Tsunade roared.

Naruto whimpered as did a majority of the shinobi in the room. They felt a distinctive killing aura.

"I have information of a stone, the Philosopher's Stone. It can turn metal in to gold and make someone immortal," Tsunade said bracing herself for Naruto's reaction. The room was silent, or at least for half a second. After that half second, there was a loud burst of noise.

"We have to go after it before Orochimaru gets his hands on it!" Naruto said, suddenly serious.

"Naruto, you baka, we have to get information from her first!" Sakura said hitting Naruto...hard.

Even when Naruto was trying to be smart, it seemed no matter what, he was an idiot, unless he was fighting. Then he would turn into Mr. Smartypants, but no way would Shikamaru relinquish his title. But then again, Naruto would always wing it, no matter how prepared he was with plans and everything, he would always wing it.

"That's the other reason why you're going. Orochimaru no doubt heard of it and will try to steal it. My original reason was to be able to get more money to become powerful again. Konoha is still suffering after the Akatsuki and Orochimaru's attacks.

"Apparently wizards do exist. The stone is hidden at a school called Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We've settled it with the headmaster," Tsunade said, throwing the pile of papers back on her desk.

"Eh? Baa-chan? Have you been drinking too much sake?" Naruto asked.

"You brat! I haven't. I'm serious, wizards to exist," Tsunade roared.

Shikamaru snorted. The headmaster was okay with a bunch of shinobi's stealing something apparently valuable from his school?

"So you guys will be going as first year students, since you have no previous experience with magic and we don't have that much information. Dumbledore will be coming tomorrow and he'll enchant your hitai-ate and whenever you wear it you can speak English. You'll be leaving right after Dumbledore charms it, so pack tonight. He thinks that you are only there to be able to learn Western magic and will introduce you as exchange students from Japanese Magic Academy who are testing out an exchange program. Understood?" Tsunade asked.

"Hai," eight voiced chorused.

"Naruto's the only way we can get Sasuke back, and Sakura is a great medical nin. Neji, you can see if there are any traps. Shikamaru is going since he can make plans and strategies. Temari is an invaluable, but Gaara and Kankuro can't come, since he's the Kazekage and Kankuro's on another mission at the moment. Any questions?" Tsunade asked.

"Why can't we go todaaay?" Naruto whined, ready to go on a new mission.

After only a few months under Tsunade's apprenticeship, Sakura already understood how easy it was for Tsunade to get cranky without sake.

"If you've got nothing important to say, GET OUT!" Tsunade screamed.

The shinobi scrambled out of the room, not wanting to be killed by Tsunade. Well technically, Neji didn't scramble out, he were too dignified, but poor him. He wasn't fast enough and was punched across Konoha all the way to the Hyuuga house**(2)**.

"Well that saved me a trip," Neji said bitterly as he picked himself up from the ground.

Hyuuga Hiashi looked up to see a small cloud of dust and Neji.

"Didn't get out of Tsunade-sama's office fast enough?" Hiashi said, looking back at his tea.

"Hmf," Neji said defiantly.

* * *

"Do you want to travel by Portkey or Floo? Pick a random one," Mustang yawned. He, Hughes, and Edward were in his house. And it was early in the morning…for him at least. To any normal person, it was 9:00.

"Ummm, Floo…? Edward said uncertainly. Mustang's grin could make anybody feel nervous.

"Floo powder it is," Mustang snapped his fingers. As Edward jumped back, a small fire appeared, but it didn't spread. Mustang lifted a small pot of a greenish powder.

"Just throw a pinch of this in the fire, step in, and say 'Leaky Cauldron'," Mustang instructed.

"Ok…" Edward said hesitantly. He did as he was told and Mustang snickered as Edward turned in circles in the small fire.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" Hughes asked, prepared to set the fire out; as soon as its controller left, it would have spread and probably burned the entire house. As much as Mustang liked fire, he probably didn't like it that much.

"Too much, but who cares?" Mustang smirked.

"Excited to go back to the Wizarding World?" Hughes asked.

"I miss that world. I can't help it."

"Oh right, the last time we were there was how long? Oh yeah, a week ago," Hughes grinned.

"Hey, it's not our fault the time's are different," Mustang pouted. "Well Voldemort's finally gone, so everything's lightened up, maybe I can pull a few pranks at Hogwarts, I'm sure Dumbledore wishes I haven't gone back now, though," Mustang grinned. "I should probably follow Fullmetal now."

"If he kills you it's not my fault," Hughes grinned as well," He's probably ready to since you didn't warn him about rough ride."

"Guess I better keep my gloves on in that case," Mustang smirked as he took a pinch of Floo powder and said, "Leaky Cauldron."

"MUSTANG!" was the first thing he heard as he got out of the dusty fireplace. Ow, his left ear was throbbing. The one closer to Ed.

"Oh what now? Scared of a _little_ ride?" Mustang smirked.

Edward growled. People stared. A man laughed. His wife smacked him.

"My good god, you have such a resemblance to Hohenheim, are you his son?" a lady said.

Edward's ears perked at this. He growled, "Yes. What do you know about him?"

"Not much, but he was a great man during the Grindewald incident. He rescued all those Muggles, they're called...Jewish, ah, that's right. But he saved all those Jewish people from that other Muggle, uhhh, Hitler, yes, Adolf Hitler."

"He's not like the hero you think he is. He's a bastard," Edward spat.

"Young man you have to be more appreciative about him. A lot of us don't have any parents anymore, you should at least be happy that he was a good man," the woman reprimanded.

"Ha, good man. He left Mom, and that caused her to die!" Edward yelled.

"Sorry Miss, but he's a bit sensitive about his family," Mustang intervened smoothly. The woman blushed as such a handsome man said this.

There was a tinkling of bells from the door, as someone entered. Nobody paid attention to whoever came in, except for Tom, the bartender. That was some feat though, considering that the man was even taller than Alphonse.

"Hagrid, the usual?"

"Not today, I'm on Hogwarts business," the man said proudly.

"Hagrid! Old pal, I haven't seen you in a while!" Mustang exclaimed joyfully, glad to have an excuse to tear away from the lady's admirable gaze.

"Roy, that you? Blimey you changed," Hagrid said. Well of course he changed, it's been twenty years already.

"Watcha' doing here today?" Roy asked as Edward fumed at being so short compared to the giant man.

But, still, Edward stared. Man, was Hagrid tall! Maybe he drank milk…and a LOT of it.

"Jus' takin' young Harry Potter to get his Hogwarts stuff," Hagrid said.

"Harry, you look just like your father, but you mother's eyes, the exact same shade of them."

"Er...thank you? Mr.…?"

"Roy Mustang. I must say, I do hope you turn out to be exactly like your old man, he was one of my best friends," Roy grinned.

"Don't I remember, you nearly killed me tryin' to keep you 5 outta trouble. By the way who's the little guy?" Hagrid asked.

"Edward Elric, but call me Ed. Edward seems too formal for me," Edward said, clenching his teeth as soon as he heard the word little.

"Sorry about that old pal, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." Mustang sighed, "Well I better take the shrimp shopping."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE SO SMALL IT WOULDN'T FEED AN ANT?!" Edward yelled as soon as he heard the word 'shrimp.' He was already pushed to the limits with the word little.

"Sorry about that Hagrid, but he's a tiny bit sensitive about his height," Mustang apologized.

"Hahahaha!" Hagrid bellowed. Harry stared. The 4 of them walked out the back door of the Leaky Cauldron. Hagrid used his pink umbrella and tapped the bricks. They slowly curled back to become an archway into Diagon Alley.

"First up, Gringottss," Mustang said uneasily. Hagrid also paled visibly at this.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked nervously. It couldn't be good if Mustang looked this nervous. After all, Mustang was the fearless, brave, Hero of Ishbal. Not that he was a hero to Ishballans, more like he could burn them to a crisp.

Edward and Harry exchanged worried glances, wondering what about this Gringotts place made these two fearless adults so pale. They walked across Diagon Alley giving the two boys a chance to stare in awe at all the stores and their items.

"Morning, we've come ter take money outta Mr. Harry Potter and Mr. Roy Mustang's vault," Hagrid said to a free goblin.

"Does Mr. Potter and Mr. Mustang have their keys?" the Goblin asked. Edward stared. _Finally! An entire species that's actually smaller than me!_

Hagrid dug deep into his pocket spilling stinky dog biscuits on to the table. The goblin wrinkled his nose at this. Mustang, on the other hand, stacked a pair of gloves, notes, and bits of papers with what looked suspiciously like Muggle phone numbers. Finally, out came a tiny key.

"Found it," Mustang grinned. He handed over the key and the goblin examined the two he just received closely.

"These seem to be in order," he said.

"An I got a letter from Dumbledore for You-Know-What in vault 713," Hagrid dug into his pockets again. His hands reached a small letter and he handed it to the goblin who then read it carefully.

"I'll get a goblin to take you to those two vaults and one to take Mr. Mustang and his companion to their vault. Solohov, Griphook!" the goblin said.

Edward and Mustang followed Solohov into a cart. By now, Mustang looked deathly green. The cart lurched forward and suddenly Edward understood why Mustang looked so ill. After going down in a bit longer and a few sharp turns later, the cart came to a sudden stop.

"That...was...worse than Winry's driving..." Edward managed to choke out.

Solohov, who had probably ridden the cart a hundred times, looked unfazed and used to Edward's reaction.

"Key," he ordered. Mustang tottered over to hand the key. Solohov put the key in the giant vault's keyhole and the mechanisms began working. Edward made a mental note to never bring Winry here...speaking of Winry...

"Oh crap," Edward said as he realized something. Apparently he was as that stupid.

"What's wrong now Fullmetal? Forgot to tell your girlfriend you'd be gone for a year?" Mustang smirked.

"Holy shit, Colonel, do you know what she's going to do to me once she finds out?" Edward paled.

The vault door opened and before the 3 of them stood towering piles of gold, silver, and bronze nougats.

"Like it Fullmetal?" Mustang smirked ignoring Edward's panicked wails and moans. "I haven't been using much of much research fund, this is where it all goes."

"Is that even allowed?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow recovering quickly as he decided never to break his automail while he was here…NEVER. He'd get enough punishment from the Wrench of Doom from forgetting to tell his girl- I mean, _mechanic_.

"Well technically, it's still research...on...on...magic," Mustang said.

"Which is something most alchemists don't even believe in," Edward smirked.

"Touche," Mustang smirked as he stuffed a few handfuls of the coins into a leather pouch. Well more than a few handfuls, the leather pouch was being stretched to it's limits by the mounds galleons in it's poor self.

"17 Kunts equal a sickle, and 29 of those equal a galleon," Mustang said absently. He paused for a second, before saying, "I'm going to regret this, but, Solohov, could we please go see Hohenheim's vault? This is his son."

"Of course," Solohov said smirking to himself, "I'll know if you really are his son when we get there."

Edward and Mustang exchanged a confused look. The ride, like last time, needless to say, was horrible. This time, both Edward and Mustang were a deep green. They gripped the side of the cart, as they panted.

"Ugh, I hope I'll never ride that again, besides when we're going up again," Edward gasped.

"Here's the vault, you should be able to open it, if you really are his son," Solohov said.

Edward glanced over the large vault door.

"Hmf, this is easy, just some simple alchemy should do the trick," Edward said.

"Easy!?" Solohov asked angrily.

"Uh...yes? Why?" Edward asked blankly.

"Alchemy is a dead art! Nobody within the last three thousand of years has been able to do alchemy except for Hohenheim and the very founders of Hogwarts!" Solohov said angrily.

"Mustang..." Edward growled.

"Uhh, well you see, I didn't know it was a dead art!" Mustang said, trying to defend himself.

"I swear, if Hawkeye doesn't kill you, I will," Edward said, before saying to Solohov, "Well I'm Hohenheim's son aren't I?"

Edward strained through the Hohenheim part.

He clapped his hands and placed them on the golden double doors of the vault. It creaked after nearly three decades of unuse. It cranked open to reveal hundreds of piles of galleons, and sickles, with barely any knuts. There was a letter placed delicately on top of the shortest pile, perfect for Edward to reach.

Edward, being the snoop he was, immediately snatched it up and tore it open.

_"Dear Edward,_

_I suppose this is a big surprise for you, entering this other world, especially the wizarding part After all that I heard about what happened with Izumi Curtis I'm surprised you would even come to the Leaky Cauldron. That reminds me, I met her this summer, she was delightfully violent housewife. Well I might as well get to the point, since I'm sure you're ready to shred this letter because it's from me. Homunculi can travel here at will. Just thought you wanted to know._

_Your father,_

_Hohenheim of Light_

P.S. If you don't mind, why does Izumi's sandal say toilet?" Edward read aloud. "That bastard! He stays here for…wait a minute…MUSTANG!"

"I can explain! I'm sure you know of the Gate, it's this world across the Gate. Floo powder, Apparation, and a portkey are able to bypass the Gate and get across!" Mustang said hurriedly while backing up. Edward glared.

"Couldn't you have thought of telling me that earlier?!"

"Well you wouldn't have come if you knew," Mustang said quickly.

"I still don't want to be here!" Edward growled. "Can we just get out of here?"

He climbed into the cart and immediately regretted his decision. As soon as the Mustang climbed in along with Solohov, the cart lurched forward when Edward's insides wanted to stay back. Not exactly the best feeling. They wobbled out of the cart.

"Mustang, don't ever make me ride that again," Edward gasped.

Hagrid walked over to them, and said, "Rough ride?"

"You wouldn't believe how rough, because Col-Mustang here made us go to Hohenheim's vault," Edward spat.

"Hohenheim? I 'eard there was a bunch of people who claimed they were 'is son and wanted to take a crack at his vault and try ta open it. Sure caused those goblins lotsa trouble! (3)" Hagrid said as they walked out of Gringotts, their pockets much heavier than when they entered.

"So where to next?" Edward asked.

"Madam Malkin's, the best place, well actually the only place for robes around here," Mustang offered nodding toward a building labeled 'Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions'.

"Do you two mind if I go for a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts," Hagrid said, still looking a bit green.

So Harry, Edward, and Mustang entered the shop alone.

"Hogwarts, dears?" Madam Malkin asked, smiling at the two students. "Got the lot here, I've got another young man being fitted up right now."

Edward decided her to be the doting mother-ish kind. Just like Gracia. Malkim waved to the back of the shop when she finished talking. Edward and Harry glanced back to find a boy pale, with a pointed face. He was standing on a footstool while another witch pinned up his robes.

"Hello you two, Hogwarts?" the boy asked.

"Yes," Edward and Harry answered at the same time.

"Father's buying my books and Mother's up the street look at wands. Maybe I'll bully them into getting me a wand later," the boy said with a drawling voice.

Edward stopped listening. This wasn't interesting. Just because he had to live with them…and learn with them…and eat with them…and spend all his time with them for the next eight months, it didn't mean that he had to like them. After all, he was here on an important mission, the Philosopher's Stone. Nothing else mattered, of course a few friends here and there were okay but definitely not this boy. He'd be his friend when the world ended.

"There you are, dear, you're done!" Madam Malkin said cheerfully. Her sweet smile grew bigger as she took the money the boy handed her. There was a tinkling of bells as the door opened again and revealed…

"Draco, are you done yet?"

... a more grown-up version of that boy.

"I just finished now, Father," Malfoy said as he jumped off, well not jumped particularly, soon-to-be Slytherins were much too important to be jumping off footstools.

"Good, now hurry up, we've got somewhere important to get to after this," Lucius said. He looked up to see…

"Roy Mustang," the man said acidly. The man looked nearly exactly like the boy if he had some more time to grow. The man held his hair in a low pony-tail and carried a cane in his right hand.

"Lucius Malfoy," Mustang answered back with the same amount, or perhaps more, venom.

"Hmf, you and your entire family were filthy blood traitors, at least better than Weasley's, though not by much. At least you traitors didn't go around talking about Muggle elktrocs, or whatever those…those things were. You disgusting Muggle and Mudblood sympathizers," Lucius spat.

"Oh? We're blood traitors? At least we don't go around being Death Eaters and killing people left and right, like the way your precious Voldemort did, and don't forget, many of those dead were purebloods, so who's the blood traitor here?" Mustang hissed.

Madam Malkin and her assistants flinched at the word Voldemort. Madam Malkin got up and said, "You don't need to bring up He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named again!"

Mustang and Lucius ignored her.

"_Cru-" _Lucius was cut off, his eyes wide.

Mustang whipped his wand out and produced and a fire spurt out from the tip.

"'Incendio' shouldn't have done that big of a fire…" Lucius whispered, in awe.

"Yep, it's my special own attack, which is exactly why I don't shout out the incantation. And by the way, if you don't want people thinking that you're still on the Dark Side, I suggest that you not use any Unforgivable Curses, like that one you were going to use on me," Mustang said smoothly.

Lucius turned slightly pink (he was much to pale to turn red) and swept Draco out of the shop with him. Mustang glared at the door in which Lucius and his son just walked out of. He turned back to the footstool where Edward was getting his measurements done, to find Madam Malkin wagging her finger at him.

"Do not talk about any more You-Know-Who stuff, unless you want yourself thrown out of here, _understand that?_" Madam Malkin glared at him.

"Uh, yes ma'am," Mustang said meekly. Why was it that nearly every other woman he met strong and willing to beat him up? Plus armed and dangerous.

Mustang kept silent for the rest of the time that the boys were fitting. He could practically feel the intensity of Madam Malkin's glares at him. But, even he had to let a little chuckle loose when one of the assistants made an unwise choice and muttered, "My, my, this boy is smaller than a usual first year."

That, of course, let Edward run on a total rampage of his height.

After they finally got Edward calmed down, and Mustang used his 'special talents' to calm down the poor assistant, they could get out of Madam Malkin's. Harry had to admit, this was the most interesting event that happened in his entire life. Wait, unless you counted last night when a friggin' giant broke down the door to that little hut, told him about his heritage, etc, then this would be the _second_ most interesting day. Still, it was pretty close.

The three of them walked outside to find Hagrid attempting to hold four ice cream cones at once. Even with his giant sized hands, he was failing…miserably. In the end, one of the cones fell with a large splat.

"Eh, sorry, Roy, but I know you never liked ice cream, somthin' 'bout to cold or somthin' like that."

"No, it's okay, Hagrid," Mustang said, "I still don't like ice cream."

"Still…sorry 'bout that," Hagrid apologized again.

"You know, it still amazes me how people can use disgusting stuff like…milk and use it to make something so delicious like ice cream!" Edward said, licking a little melted drop of the ice cream off the cone.

"You don't like milk?" Harry asked, feeling a bit more comfortable around Edward and Mustang. After he first met that boy in Madam Malkin's, he finally realized that there _were_ people who were worse than Dudley in the world. And the way that Mustang acted to that boy's father, Lusius, or something like that, he was glad that Mustang felt the same way.

"Nope, nothing you people can do will make me drink milk!" Edward said. Then he added as an afterthought, "Unless it was in something like stew, then maybe I'd eat it."

"Why not?" Hagrid asked, interested.

"I'm not going any kind of liquid secreted from an animal, especially a cow," Edward shuddered.

Harry stared at his ice cream. He shrugged and said, "If you put it like that…but still, milk is delicious."

Before Edward could retort, the two adults stopped.

"Here we are, our next stop, Flourish & Blotts," Mustang announced. "And remember Edward, don't buy the entire store."

"Yeah, yeah, I got that already," Edward said, already rushing into the store with an excited look.

Mustang sighed. Edward was going to buy the entire store.

"That boy mus' like readin' a lot," Hagrid chuckled.

"Too much," Mustang sighed. The two adults followed the two excited boys into the store.

Inside, Edward and Harry took in all the magical books, ones the size of postage stamps, the size of paving stones, ones that were taller then Alphonse, ones shorter than Edward. Ones that were full of strange symbols, a few with nothing in them at all, and even some with…words! Oh boy! And here they thought there weren't going to be any _normal_ books(4)**.**

"Hey Mustang, how come that Lucius or something, didn't like you? He said you were Mudblood sympathizers?" Edward asked. He had to ask whenever he heard a word he never noticed before.

"We were old classmates. He was a couple years older than me, which made him think that he was better than me for that. Mudblood is a insult word for Muggle-born witches and wizards," Mustang said, looking over the books.

"Oh, I don't like the look of those two, the dad looks like a Yoki with blonde hair," Edward said, distastefully.

Mustang laughed. That must have been the oddest comparison he ever heard. Elite Malfoys compared to the downtrodden Yoki. But it was true, they both bribed to get to their places in society. They preferred to have everything when many people had nothing at all. And they didn't mind at all if people that were under them were broke and such.

Edward went on to look through the alchemy books, but after hearing that alchemy was a dead art only practiced by a very small amount of people, around two or three in the last few centuries, was a bit skeptical that he'd find something. Nevertheless, he looked for any plausible alchemy book he could find, which was…none.

"Hey Ed! We've got yeh books already!" Hagrid said, looking at the back of Flourish & Blotts for Mustang and Edward.

"Oh, thank you Hagrid," Edward said, being polite (for the first time and probably the only time).

**I'm going to skip the Apothecary and the cauldron and telescope part, since they don't have much part in the story.**

"Yeh still need a birthday present, Harry," Hagrid said thoughtfully as they exited the Apothecary.

Harry blushed as he muttered, "It's okay, I don't need a present."

"Tell yeh what, I'll get yeh an animal. Cats make me sneeze and frogs got out of style ages ago. I think I'll get yeh an owl. Dead useful, carryin' mail," Hagrid said.

"What do you want for a pet, Ed?" Mustang asked.

Ed thought for a minute.

"A cat, Al would love that," Edward said. "He asks me every time we see a stray cat if we can keep it, although I do have to admit, we find stray cats too many times…"

The Magical Menagerie, animals were filled in every nook and cranny possible. Foxes stared at you with an unblinking gaze, giant lizards waded in their ponds, birds fluttered, cats meowed. There were other magical animals too, dancing rats, three headed snakes, phoenixes, and more. Some deadly animals were held in padlocks, hissing and growling. No wonder Hagrid wanted to visit here so much…

"Awwww," girls squealed, crowding around a cage.

Edward avoided the area, as did Harry and Hagrid, not to mention Mustang. Hagrid and Harry explored a little section in the back completely devoted to owls. Apparently, owls were very popular around here, not that Edward could see why.

He roamed around the store. There was a loud racket the cashier counter, where a pink-haired girl seemed to be beating a blonde boy. This reminded him strangely of somebody he knew. At least the girl didn't have a wrench, but then again, from the force of those punches she looked VERY strong. There was another girlish looking boy with them. Edward new it was a boy because he (ahem) looks like a (ahem) girl. Anyway, the boy seemed to look just fine with the girl beat up the boy. But Edward took a closer look and noticed that the second boy's eyes were _white_. He couldn't understand how he could see and supposed it was just magic.

Nevertheless, Edward turned away, eager to get away from that group. They seemed scary…

Edward looked around at the cats. None of them seemed to fit what he wanted, not that he knew what he wanted. He moved over to where the girls were squealing at. They had dispersed, thank goodness. He peered through the metal cage to find a little kitten snuggled up. It appeared to be clutching something silver in it's paws, but as Edward took another look, he noticed it was attacked to the kitten. It was automail.

"Hey Miss? Is that kitten for sale?" Edward asked the nearest saleswoman. Her tag said Emily.

"Hm, that one? This man gave it to us a couple years ago. I dunno who he is, I wasn't working here then," she said. "He said he wanted to make sure the right person got him, he would come in every now and then and make sure we didn't sell it yet. My boss, who absolutely loves that cat, said that the man the person the cat was for wasn't here yet, or something like that. Apparently he stopped coming about a decade ago maybe two, but he said the cat would know when it's next owner would come, or something like that. I think he wanted to use this store as a trading post or somethin', I mean, gave it to us to give to somebody else."

"Hmm," Edward said, poking a finger through the metal bars, stroking the soft fur of the kitten. She meowed and purred softly. It got up slowly and rubbed her neck against Edward's finger.

"That's the first time I ever saw her actually show affection to somebody," Emily said, nearly dropping the bag of...something…squeamish.

"Does that mean I get her?" Edward asked, stroking the kitten.

"I guess so," she said. "Here you go."

She took the little kitten, who meowed at being picked up, and handed gently set it in Edward's outstretched arms. It was surprisingly heavy thanks to the automail. It snuggled into a deep sleep again as if nothing ever happened.

"Hm, she sure does like you, I suppose that's the sign that you should keep her," Emily said, thoughtfully.

"In that case, I'll take her!" Edward said happily, taking out his leather bag full of gold coins trying to balance the kitten in one hand.

"My boss would kill me, or worse, fire me, if you don't take it! She's been waiting forever for someone to take the cat!" Emily begged. "I gotta get back to work."

She sighed as she went on with feeding the animals.

"Or worse, get you fired…? You need to get your priorities straight," Edward muttered to himself, raising an eyebrow.

Nevertheless, he hugged his new kitten happily and went off to find Mustang to bother him. They soon left the Magical Menagerie with a new kitten and a snowy white owl in tow.

"Well, now we're going to get our wands right?" Edward asked excitedly.

"Yep, at Olivander's, the best, and only place fer wands," Hagrid said.

Olivander's was a narrow and shabby shop. Peeling gold letters over the door showed the store name. In the window lay a faded purple cushion, with a single wand on it. There was a tinkling of bells as they entered the tiny store. Edward felt as if he had just entered Central library.

"Good afternoon," a soft voice said. Hagrid must have jumped, as there was a large crunch right before Hagrid got off a spindly chair.

"Hello," the two boys said awkwardly.

"Ah yes. Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter. You have your mother's eyes. Her first wand was made of willow, ten and a quarter inches long, swishy. It was nice for charm work. Your father favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. It was excellent for transfiguration.

"Edward Elric. It seems to be quite some time since I saw your father last. Hohenehim Elric. Hawthorn, twelve and three-quarters inches long, very good for every type of healing magic." Mr. Ollivander.

He turned back to Harry. Mr. Ollivander leaned so close that Harry and him were almost nose to nose.

"And that's where…" Mr. Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, pale finger.

"I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it," he said softly. "Thirteen and a half inches. Yes. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hand…"

"Rubeus! Rubeus Hagrid! And Roy Mustang!" Mr. Ollivander said, just noticing the two of them in the background. "Hagrid, oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it?"

"Yes," said Hagrid.

"I suppose that snapped it in half when you got expelled?" Mr. Ollivander asked, suddenly stern. "Roy Mustang, cocobolo, ah, I remember how much trouble I had to go through to get to that wood. Well, cocobolo, twelve inches, excellent for charms."

Mr. Ollivander pulled out a long tape measure and asked, "I'll start with Edward. Which is your wand arm?"

"I'm left-handed," Edward said.

"Hold out your arm," Mr. Ollivander said. Then, the tape measure started to measure the two boys on it's own as Mr. Ollivander turned around to look through the boxes and boxes of wands.

"Beechwood and phoenix feather, six inches. Quite whippy. Try—" Mr. Ollivander started.

Edward waved it, causing a nearby vase to explode. He tried. And tried. And tried. It seemed no wand was good for him.

"Hm, what about this one? Birch and phoenix feather. Try it," Mr. Ollivander said.

Edward waved it, and as soon as he did, he felt something warm inside of him. A shower of blood-red sparks came out of the end of the wand.

Mustang and Hagrid clapped.

"Ah, that seems to be the wand for you," Mr. Ollivander said.

Harry's turn to find his wand was equally as hard. It also seemed that there was no wand for him. Finally, a holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches wand shot out a stream of red and gold sparks.

"Curious,…very curious…"

"Sorry, but what's curious?" Harry asked.

"Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare.

"I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather in your wand, gave another feather. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when it's brother gave you that scar," Mr. Ollivander said eerily.

Needless to say, the two of them couldn't wait to get out of the store.

Later that night, in the Leaky Cauldron, Edward was lying on his bed, with his State Alchemist watch turning slowly above him. He glanced at the date and sighed.

"Al, what has this world gone to?"

* * *

"Naruto get up!"

It was the first thing Naruto heard that morning. That and the fluttering of the birds that flew away thanks to Sakura's loud shout.

"AAAAH! Sakura-chan, don't kill me please please please!" Naruto begged as he took off his cap, and quickly put his orange and black jacket and pants.

He ran outside to run into Sakura's fist.

"Hurry up next time!" she roared. "We're already late to meet Dumbledore-sama!"

Naruto leapt up and ran out of Sakura's reach.

"Then what are we waiting for! Let's go to Hokage tower!" Naruto yelled excitedly.

Sakura sighed. Guess some people never change. And here she thought that after two and a half years with Jiraiya, he would have grown up a bit.

She followed him off to Hokage tower to meet this Dumbledore person.

"Woow! There's a person older then Baa-chan?" Naruto said loudly, enough for Sakura to hear.

"Naruto! Be a little more respectful! That's the person that hired us!" Sakura said. "Dumbledore-san, please excuse Naruto's behavior."

The old man chuckled and said, "It's all right, Sakura-san, more kids need to be free like him, especially, in a ninja village, no offense to you of course. It's just that I'm used to having around kids that don't have a thought of the world, that's all."

"It's alright Dumbledore-san," Tsunade said.

All the shinobi were crowded in the office. Jiraiya was looking way too interested in Temari and Tsunade to be healthy. And most of the other shinobi were looking ticked at Naruto for being so late.

"Well, we better get down to business. Can you please take off your headbands? I'll charm them to so that you'll be able to speak English whenever you wear them, which I suppose is always," Dumbledore said.

The shinobi took off their hitai-ate reluctantly and gave them to Dumbledore, suspicious of him, and still wary of his claim of magic.

"_Reddo_," Dumbledore said, waving a stick thingy over the hitai-ate's in front of him.

"Oooh! Lemme try it on!" Naruto said, grabbing his hatai-ate and putting it on. "_Gaara is an idiot!"_

"Nani! It really does work," Sakura said, inspecting her headband.

Temari, on the other hand, wasn't as happy.

"You said something about Gaara," Temari said, pointedly.

"_Uhhh, yes?"_

"Take off that hitai-ate!" Temari grabbed at it. "What'd you say?"

"Nothing!" Naruto said, trying to get his hitai-ate back.

"As much as I want to, it won't do any use to kill Naruto," Shikamaru said, fully aware of what Naruto had said and exactly what would happen to Naruto if Temari ever happened to find out.

"Okay Shika-kun!" Temari agreed happily.

Dumbledore chuckled, "Your shinobi are quite lively."

Tsunade just shook her head in exasperation and replied, "Just these bunch, and maybe too lively."

She glared at Naruto at the last part. He recognized the threat and immediately shut up.

"Well shall we get going? We still need to buy your supplies for this year at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said.

"All right!" Naruto exclaimed. He was quickly shot down by a glare from Tsunade.

"Now, it's very simple, just hold on to those boot, please," Dumbledore said.

The shinobi did this, although they had just about no idea why.

"One…two…three," Dumbledore counted off.

All of the shinobi felt a sudden jerk in their stomach area as they were transported to the Diagon Alley.

"Wow!" Naruto exclaimed, looking through all the windows.

"Ah, it seems I need to go back to Hogwarts now, there's something I need to do before school starts tomorrow," Dumbledore said, looking at his watch, the one that no body could ever figure out how to read. "Jiraiya-sama, can you please lead them around here?"

"Of course," Jiraiya said, a bit grumpily. He had been stopped mid-step to find somewhere to do his 'research.'

"You have the list of supplies right? Well here's some gold. I must get going," Dumbledore said, before Disapparating.

Jiraiya eyed the bag full of money greedily and said, "Okay, listen up, you go buy your stuff or whatever, and I'll be going to do some research on this Philosopher's Stone thingy."

"Yeah right, Pervy Sage!" Naruto yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Jiraiya. "You're just going to look for some woman to grope."

"Hey,

"Let's get our wands first!" Naruto said.

They entered the Ollivanders store where the eerie mood of the store was ruined by Naruto's excited nature.

"Seven new students?" Mr. Ollivander asked curiously.

"Yep!" Naruto said, not noticing the eeriness of the store. Or if he did, he was doing a REALLY good job of pretending not to notice.

"This might take some time, well ladies first," Mr. Ollivander said, his tape measure working full speed already. "The pink haired one?"

**I'm being REALLY lazy these days, so I'll just be listing the wand types :) sorry, but this chap is already going to be 11,000+ words! Yes I'm rubbing it in. I'm so proud of myself :sniffle:  
**

Naruto- Katalox (5), fox fur

Sakura- Olivewood, unicorn hair

Shikamaru- Hawthorn, dragon heartstring

Temari- Birch, dragon heartstring

Neji- Kingwood, phoenix feather

Jiraiya- Oak, phoenix feather

**And back to the story!**

"Curious, curious, well, Naruto's wand is the only wand I have ever made without using one of the three usual magical centers I usually use, unicorn hair, dragon heartstring, and phoenix feather," Mr. Ollivander said, his misty eyes staring at Naruto. "In fact, that fur that I used came from a particularly feisty completely _red_ fox, unheard of. There are red foxes, but they always have a touch of brown."

"That guys creepy! Are you sure he's not related to you Neji? He's got white eyes like you. And he's creepy enough, too," Naruto said.

"_Yes, _I'm sure he's not related to me," Neji said scornfully, glaring at Naruto.

"Does anybody else think that the fox Mr. Ollivander was talking about sounded a bit too much like Kyuubi?" Sakura asked thoughtfully.

Naruto shuffled uncomfortably. Sure he was an idiot, but at least he knew the danger of Kyuubi, and the fact that it was sealed inside him.

"A solid red fox? I'd have to say yes," Shikamaru agreed.

"Well if Shika-kun says so, then so do I!" Temari cheered.

"Well we better get to the next place…Flourish & Blotts," Jiraiya said.

"What are we getting there?" Neji asked, glad for a reason to get away from them.

"Your books," Jiraiya said impatiently. He sounded desperate to get back to Konoha to get to his great 'research' at the hot springs.

"Good, I've been meaning to get some more books on medical jutsus. They probably don't have any here, but it'll be interesting to read what these wizards have learned of medical magic," Sakura said.

"How can you stand reading books, Sakura-chan? It's too boring and complicated," Naruto complained, glad that the topic shifted to something else. Too bad it was something he hated equally to Kyuubi.

"Well if you ever even tried to read a book instead of pulling pranks or sleeping in class, you might understand it," Shikamaru said lazily.

Naruto sniggered. "That's coming from the laziest boy in our year, possibly in the history of Konoha. You're the one who failed all the tests in the Academy because you were too lazy to pick up a pencil."

"Touché," Shikamaru grinned.

"Shikamaru! You have to try harder!" Temari scolded playfully.

He just sighed. One of the many disadvantages of having a very possessive girlfriend. Now that he thought about it, there were no advantages to having her as a girlfriend…(6).

They entered Flourish & Blotts. Sakura immediately asked Temari, she couldn't trust Naruto, to get her books while she went off to look through the medical books. Shikamaru also took off to look for books on tactical strategies. And on how to get rid of your girlfriend, not that would ever tell anybody, or that he didn't find a single book on it!

They left the store with Sakura absolutely giddy about her new books.

"I can't believe how many books they had in there! There's even more than the one in the library!" Sakura gushed as she hugged her new books tightly to her chest.

"Yeah, yeah," Jiraiya said absently, "Do you guys mind hurrying up? I need to go do some research soon."

"No way Pervy Sage! I know you're just going to stare at naked women for your next book!" Naruto yelled. Diagon Alley was silent. Then there was a loud ruckus, and multiple things were thrown at Jiraiya. Especially curses. And lots of them.

"Hey! Don't throw that!" Jiraiya said, as he dodged a knife with ease, pretending to be scared and pretending to stumble. He couldn't risk showing any ninja skills. "And Make-Out Paradise is a best seller!"

"Ha! Remember that time I wrote one of the books! And Sakura says my writing is the worse she's ever seen!" Naruto said proudly.

"I've only seen a couple sentences you wrote about our mission," Sakura said as they walked away from Jiraiya, "And it went like 'My name is Naruto Uzumaki. We went to fight today. It was against some dude with bandages. There was also a guy that looked like a girl. I'm going to be Hokage. He had a big sword. Believe it! The Hokage right now is too wrinkly. He's an old man. Believe it! I've got a strange tattoo on my belly. Haha! It jiggles! It's hungry. I better feed it some ramen.' There was a large splot on the paper, and then, 'It feels much better. My tattoo is swirleeeeeey."

"Wasn't that wonderful?" Naruto said, proudly.

"How that kid managed to pass the first part of the chuunin exams, I'll never now," Temari sighed, running her hand through her bangs.

"I know. He was banking on the fact that he would get that last question. His paper was completely blank from what I heard from Ibiki," Shikamaru said lazily.

"Meaning he passed the first part entirely through luck," Neji finished.

"Well, he's one hell of a lucky kid," Temari said.

"Tell me about it," Sakura sighed, "Remember when you were fighting Haku and you all of a sudden you got more power? That's what I call luck."

"Ha ha…ha," Naruto laughed, fidgeting around. Even though he was the stupidest ninja ever to grace Konoha's land, he at least knew where that awesome power came from. His stomach! Where Kyuubi was currently residing. Naruto wondered how Kyuubi could fit in his tummy.

"I want to get my animal," Naruto said all of a sudden.

"Ok, Neji, could you look for an animal shop?" Sakura asked, looking around.

"The Byakugun wasn't designed for looking for an _animal shop_," Neji said, irritated. But nevertheless, he turned on his Byakugun and said, "The Magical Menagerie's just down the street."

"Okay! And off we go," Naruto said, leading the way.

"Naruto, when Neji says down the street, he means the other way," Sakura said, grabbing the impatient blond.

"That's weird…" Neji muttered, not moving from the spot.

"Hm?" Temari asked absently.

"There's a kid in there…with a metal arm and leg," Neji said. "It's like a prosthetic, but he moves it like a regular arm."

"Metal arm and leg?" Sakura asked, surprised. You can't blame her. She's a medic. She's used to _human_ parts on _humans_.

"That's got to be impossible though. All of the nerves would have to be attached to the prosthetic. And not to mention, there would have to be a port or something so the prosthetic could be changed as the kid grows. That would alone cause immense pain to attach."

"Well, my Byakugun doesn't lie," Neji said, walking toward the Magical Menagerie.

"Wonder what happened to that kid," Temari said thoughtfully.

"Probably just an accident," Shikamaru said, in the laid back voice.

"But don't forget, in this world they don't expect kids to learn how to fight until 11. And even then, it's only the basics of magic," Sakura said. "Which means, they don't have as many serious accidents like that."

"Yeah, well I just want my toad and leave!" Naruto decided. "If I could only keep out my summon for long enough, I wouldn't have to take another frog to Warty Pig school."

"You think Jiraiya will be all right?" Sakura asked nervously, looking at the poor old man getting beaten up.

"Relax, he's a Sannin, isn't he? And even if he does get hurt, it's his fault, for being a super pervert, right?" Temari laughed it off.

"Hahaha, you're right," Sakura said, laughing too.

"Is it just me, or are women getting more…more devilish these days?" Shikamaru asked, following the two girls.

"They are," Naruto said, remembering all the wounds he had gotten from Sakura.

In the Magical Menagerie, Naruto immediately found a red frog. It looked suspiciously like Gamakichi. But alas, it wasn't. Naruto lifted the frog to look eye to eye with the frog. The frog croaked. Naruto laughed and hugged Gamakichi II so tightly, his eyes popped out.

"Naruto, you're going to kill him like that," Sakura whacked him. Very hard.

"Ow! You're going to kill me like that," Naruto said, rubbing the large bump on his head. "Right, Shikamaru?…Shikamaru?"

"He left ten minutes ago to look for an owl," Neji supplied, thoroughly enjoying seeing Naruto getting beat up.

"Neji? You're smart. Isn't she going to kill me like that?" Naruto asked, knowing full well that Neji would side with Sakura.

"She's not going to kill you. Haven't I heard that you have a really fast healing ability?" Neji smirked.

Naruto pouted, "Just gang up on me, why don't you?"

"Hurry up, you three," Shikamaru said, from outside, "We still need to get our robes."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. Why do we have to where dresses? Why does everybody around here where dresses?" Naruto asked, glancing around.

"They're robes, for the last time," Sakura sighed.

"Well here we are," Neji said, cutting through their bickering loudly. Neji was having trouble dealing with Naruto for just one day of shopping. Imagine how the entire year would be. Oh kami.

They entered the shop to find a disgruntled little lady, presumably Madam Malkin. She grumbled. Apparently she was in a bad mood. Naruto certainly wasn't helping at all. Naruto fidgeted all through his fitting. And complained that the needles were pointy. The other four, however, were smart enough to at least know not to push Madam Malkin's limits. Although, maybe, just maybe, the immense amount of gold that they gave her helped. You could practically see her eyes light up when she caught sight of the gold. Maybe it came from the gold, maybe it didn't. We'll never know.

It sure was a long day. Poor Neji. He had to deal with Naruto. Same with Shikamaru. Not to mention Temari. Not Sakura though, she could just beat him up or something.

* * *

(1)- Well, I wanted to name him something from his Animagus form, which I won't say…yet. Oh and, I gave Mustang's name from his alchemy. And I figured the Marauder's should know about that since they know about Remus's 'furry little problem.' Anyway, I figured out something. The Marauders think of a discription for a body part of the Animagus form.

(2)-I have no idea how the map of Konoha would be, but let's just pretend that the Hyuuga household is allll the way on the other side.

(3)- Please don't comment about my attempt at Hagrid's accent. I know how much I sucked T-T

(4)- Sorry, but I was feeling very sarcastic at the moment…

(5)- I actually researched for Mustang and Ed's wand wood type! Yay! But then I noticed…there were six other ones…I'm soo not doing those guys! Sorry Naruto fans! Well I did for Naruto's wand. But that's about it.

If anyone is interested, the website I used was http / www . golden tree wands . com / magic properties of wood . htm Minus the spaces, of course. You really should check out Mustang's Cocobolo wood, it matches him perfectly! So does Naruto's Katalox, especially if you read the last few chapters.

(6)- He's not breaking up with her, don't worry ShikaTem fans! I just did that for fun, and cuz I was bored ;)


	3. Chapter 2

**I don't like this chapter. Why? Because this chapter is about a TRAIN RIDE. What's there to do on a train besides talking? And cheating games of poker, in Ed's case. Aaand, I had to write this about 4 times over, since I kept accidentally clicking other stuff while this tab was open. RRRAAAAWWWRRR.**

**I'm thinking about changing the title to "What's Gone is Forever Lost" and yep! A reference to Brothers. I love love love that song. Especially the 'missing' lyrics.**

Mustang sighed. This was why he didn't like children. They were a bunch of snot-nosed brats who wouldn't listen to anything someone over 20 said. And they contradicted everything someone over 20 said. And he was barely past 20! Okay, so maybe 29 wasn't as close as he wanted to 20 but still! So anyway, exactly WHY did he take up the job at Hogwarts? It was probably due to Hughes. Him and his pictures. Him and his antics. Him and his pictures. Him and his daughter. Did he remember to mention him and his pictures? Who knew Hughes could become so irritating!

The only good part about going to Hogwarts, was that Hughes couldn't shove adorable pictures of Elysia up his face. Yes he admitted it. Elysia is adorable. And yes, Hughes, there is such thing as too adorable. Your daughter is one of those things with her little pigtails and chubby cheeks and all.

"You're kidding…right?" Edward asked hopefully. That jerked Mustang out of his silent growling and cursing at Hughes. They were in King's Cross Station. In front of the bricks dividing platform nine, and platform ten. Nowhere in sight was platform nine and three-quarters. And if that wasn't enough, Mustang was insisting that he walk through a pillar bricks, which were actually a barrier.

"Why in the world would I want to walk through _a wall_?" Edward asked, pushing his cart of luggage moodily. He wasn't going to fall for that again…Not to say that he fell for it once…did he? Maybe. Maybe not. It's not like he would tell somebody if he did.

"Because that's how you get to Hogwarts Express. And you should know, we're not even in the same world anymore," Mustang sighed. He was getting really used to Edward doubting every word he said. But just because he was getting used to it didn't mean that he was going to put up with it. Oh wait…he couldn't do anything with all those people that don't know a thing about alchemy around. Damn it.

"Right, I still need to kill you for that," Edward said. "Why don't you go first?"

"Alright, alright," Mustang said, annoyed. He stepped forward and walked through the wall.

Edward gaped. That just wasn't possible. _Remember! You're in a world where equivalent exchange doesn't matter. At all! _Still wary, Edward walked through the pillar, expecting a large clunk as the metal and rock collided. But amazingly, there was no sound at all. The cart went straight through the bricks. Edward pulled it out. It came out smoothly as it went in. Edward shrugged it off, and he entered the platform still half expecting a collision.

In front of him was a long train, much like the ones he usually rode on. He had a sudden pang of homesickness; he missed playing poker with Al. Of course he would always win, thanks to some 'luck.' Most of the luck depended on the fact that he was wearing long sleeves. That helped a lot. Oh yes it did.

This train was scarlet red with large puffs of smoke traveling out of the exhaust. Where else would it get out? In a large sign above him, was _Hogwarts Express_. It finally hit him that he would actually be going to a _wizarding_ school. He knew about it for a week, but finally, today, he'd be actually going. Oh god, the world was ending…not that he believed in any gods.

He found Mustang talking to a dumpy red-haired woman. A change to the regular. Mustang usually went for the skinny tall ones, with some 'curves.' Ahem, ahem. Especially around the chest area.

"--ully. Bill got a job at Gringotts, as a curse breaker. Charlie's in Romania, he's working as a dragon tamer. I always think it's a job that's much too dangerous," the woman said, shaking her head.

"Charlie's always been like that though," Mustang laughed. "Both Bill and Charlie have liked adventure and danger."

"Percy's became a prefect this year, all of my children have been prefects, it makes me so proud," the woman's face did show immense proudness. "But Fred and George are going to stop that tradition no matter what. Really, if you hadn't told Bill about all of the tricks that you played in your days, they wouldn't have gotten to become tricksters like that."

"So now it's my fault? I'm so hurt, Mrs. Weasley," Mustang joked.

"Hey, Mustang, you could have at least waited for me," Edward grumbled as he pushed the cart into Mustang.

"Hello there dearie," Mrs. Weasley greeted Edward sweetly.

"This is Edward Elric. Ed, this is Molly Weasley," Mustang said, turning to Edward.

"I heard that Hohenheim's son would be going this year. I never thought I would actually meet you," Mrs. Weasley gushed. Lucky her, she got to meet the famous Hohenheim's son and the Great Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter himself.

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Weasley," Ed said awkwardly, looking at the woman like she was crazy. Sure he was used to being gawked and stared at by civilians in Amestris for being the youngest State Alchemist and for being the wonderful Alchemist of the People, but it still unnerved him a bit, of how this woman was so...so...doting. Or perhaps those civilians were staring at his brother. His giant seven foot tall brother.

"I'm so very sorry, I didn't know you didn't like _short_ waits," Mustang smirked as they finally said good-bye to Mrs. Weasley.

"What was that?" Edward asked, threateningly as they walked onto the train.

"Nothing, I just said, I didn't now you didn't like _short_ waits. You know, short, tiny, microscopic, chibi, Fullmetal, small, Edward Elric. They all mean the same thing," Mustang said, with the air of a teacher teaching an exceptionally dumb student. They entered a compartment they found at the back of the train with Harry in it.

"Hey Mustang, help me get this into the compartment," Edward said, struggling to lift his luggage.

"Too short, shrimp?" Mustang teased as he walked over to help Edward out.

"Ha ha," Edward laughed sarcastically.

"You know it's true," Mustang smirked as he lifted the luggage with ease.

"Hello Mr. Mustang," Harry said politely.

They were interrupted by a redhead boy, "Excuse, me, can I sit here? Everywhere else is full."

He had a face full of freckles. He had flaming red hair. He had dirt on his nose. He was tall for his age. He was taller than Ed. Ed is four years older than him. Quite a pickle, eh?

"Of course," Mustang said. He raised his hand to shake hands with the boy.

"Ron Weasley," the boy said. The boy looked around the compartment to see Harry and Ed.

"I know you, you're Harry Potter!" Ron said. "My brother's Fred and George said they saw you. I thought they were lying."

"The twins are your brothers?" Harry said.

"Yep, they're pranksters. So…um… do you remember how You-Know-Who looks like?" Ron asked hopefully. "Or anything about what happened that night?

"Not really," Harry answered, startled. He wasn't expecting this question. "I only remember a bunch of green light, and that's it."

He turned to Edward, "Who're you?" He asked it as if he just noticed him.

"Edward Elric, but everybody calls me Ed."

"Try calling him anything that means small. His reaction is hilarious," Mustang smirked.

"HEY!" came the immediate reaction from Ed.

"Elric? Any chance you're related to Hohenheim Elric?(1)" Ron asked, not paying attention to Mustang.

"Yes," Ed growled.

"Did I say something wrong…?" Ron asked blankly, facing Mustang.

"Touchy subject. He doesn't like Hohenheim very much," Mustang said.

"How would he know Hohenheim? He died in 1945. That's… 35 years before Ed was born…isn't it?" Ron said, taking time to calculating the year.

"Yes, but haven't you heard of Amestris before?" Mustang said.

"Not really, but I think Mum mentioned it a couple times before," Ron said, thinking hard.

"Hm, well I'm going to teach that in class, the origins of magic. It'll give you everything you need to know about this," Mustang said.

"Oh," Ron said, slightly put down that he couldn't find out right away.

"MUSTANG!" Edward bellowed.

"Ow! No need to shout, shorty," Mustang said.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to teach about _Amestris_?" Edward asked.

"Because I knew that's exactly how you would react. I was half hoping that you wouldn't create a scene, but I guess I'm wrong," Mustang sighed.

"But couldn't you have mentioned that to me earlier?!" Edward growled.

"Well, you would've tried to kill me, and I didn't have my gloves on me, and unlike you, I can't just clap my hands," Mustang said.

Meanwhile, Ron whispered to Harry, "Oy, mate, do you have any idea what they're talking about?"

Harry shook his head no. Unable to keep up with the two alchemists' conversation, the two of them started their own, about the families. A couple minutes later, a couple students knocked.

"Hello, do you mind if we sit here? We've been up and down the train, no more empty seats," the pineapple-headed boy said. No, darn it. His head wasn't really a pineapple. It was pineapple shaped, with that very odd ponytail…thingy.

"Sure, what's your name?" Ron said.

"Shikamaru Nara," the boy drawled lazily.

"Temari Sabuko(2)," the girl said. "What about you guys?"

"Ron Weasley." If you can't tell who said that, you have to be an idiot. And if you can't tell who said that and understand that idiot is an insult, good.

"Edward Elric, but call me Ed."

"Harry Potter." Although Harry wasn't used to it, he couldn't help but feel a little odd, but relieved, that those three hadn't recognized his name. From what Hagrid had said, he was the famous Boy-Who-Lived, and everybody knew him.

"Roy Mustang, I'll be your History of Magic professor this year."

"Pleased to meet you," Shikamaru said lazily as he took the window seat.

"Ahh, poor Shika-kun. I heard that the old professor for History of Magic was boring and let all the students fall asleep in class, too bad they had to get a new one this year," Temari teased.

"This is troublesome," Shikamaru muttered as he leaned back and yawned.

"Sorry about Shikamaru, he can be…very lazy. But he's a genius, a complete genius." Temari said happily, as she took off her fan and plopped herself down on the seat next to Shikamaru.

"Ahh, the professor you were talking about is Binns. My friends and I always had a nice long sleep in that class," Mustang said. "Everybody did. Needless to say, we failed the O.W.L.s horribly."

"O.W.L.s?" Naruto asked blankly. "Aren't they those things that flap and fly at night?"

"…Nice description, but O.W.L.s are Ordinary Wizarding Levels, they're tests that you take in your fifth year. N.E.W.T.s are these tests you take in your sixth year, they stand for Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Levels," Ron said, happy he could _finally_ say something.

"Funny how they name them animals," Shikamaru said lazily. He can' seem to do anything unlazily.

"So what're you doing here? You're obviously not English," Edward asked.

"Foreign exchange students. And yes, we're going to be in the first year. In our school, we start at age 7, not 11. We came from a ninja academy back home," Shikamaru answered. He continued to answer Ron's question as his mouth opened.

"Ninja? Aren't they those Muggle people who have those spiky things that they throw?" Ron asked.

"Not exactly…" Temari sweat dropped.

"Shikamaru, you seem a…a bit lazy to be a ninja," Ed said, eyeing the boy pretending to be asleep.

"What village?" Mustang asked.

"Konohagakure," Shikamaru answered, giving the formal name of Konoha.

"Ah, how's Jiraiya doing? More importantly, how's Tsunade doing? And Kakashi?" Mustang asked.

"Jiraiya's here and still a pervy sage as Naruto puts it,(Ed: Figures, a pervert only knows other perverts)" Shikamaru said. "Tsunade's still trying to kill Jiraiya for being a pervert. Kakashi's a jounin teacher right now. He's still always late and reading Jiraiya's books."

"What about you? You're not English either," Temari asked.

"I'm Amestrian," Edward said, expecting them to ask where Amestris is.

"Amestrian?" Shikamaru shot up so fast that Temari started. And don't forget, she's a highly trained kunoichi.

"What's wrong Shika-kun?" Temari asked.

"Nothing, except did you just say you were Amestrian?"

Edward nodded, surprised. He hadn't expected for a couple ninja to know about Amestris.

_Things just got a whole lot more interesting_, Shikamaru thought as he lay back down.

"In that case, I take it you are too, Professor Mustang?"

"Very good, how'd you know?" Mustang smirked.

"Anybody a mile away could've heard you two arguing. You obviously know each other well," Shikmaru simply said.

"Okay, I'm lost here. Where's or what's Amestris?" Ron asked. He blew it off the first time when Mustang mentioned it, but he felt like he was missing something important now.

"Amestris is a place, on the other side of th--," Shikamaru started.

"Amestris is a country," Edward said vaguely.

There was another knock. This time, it was a middle-aged woman, pushing a cart of sweets.

"Anything off the trolley, dears?"

Harry, who hadn't breakfast and just noticed how hungry he was, bought some of everything. Ron's eyes grew wide, and he asked,

"Hungry, aren't you?"

"Starving," Harry said, digging in to his Licorice Wand.

"Do you mind?" Ron asked, grabbing a Chocolate Frog, without even waiting for Harry's reply.

"Excellent, I still need a couple cards," Ron said, opening his box. He took out the frog and bit off the head as he dug inside for the card. "Ah, Dumbledore again. Do you want to start collecting them?"

"Erm…are they real frogs?" Harry asked, looking over a box of Chocolate Frogs.

"Nah, they're just charmed," Ron said quickly taking a glance at the expression on Harry's face. Ron handed Harry the card. Edward glanced it at and caught the word 'alchemist'

"Hey Harry. Lemme see that card," Edward said quickly. Harry was startled at Edward's sharp tone, but nevertheless, he handed him the card.

Ed read through the card.

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Currently Headmaster of Hogwarts_

_Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discover of the twelve usesof dragon's blood, and _his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel._ Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling._

"Mustang…" Edward gasped. "Read this."

Mustang raised his eyebrow and took the card. The other passengers in the compartment looked oddly at Edward, wondering what the bloody hell (Ron and Harry) or what the kami (Shikamaru, and Temari) had Edward so shaken up about.

Mustang read through the brief description of Dumbledore.

"Well this certainly is interesting," Mustang said. "Next time, don't make such a big deal out of this."

"And what is 'this'?" Shikamaru asked.

"Nothing important," Mustang said, feeling that Shikamaru was a bit too observative.

"I'll really believe that," Shikamaru said. _I got to remember to check out the Chocolate Frog card for Albus Dumbledore. _

"It's nothing big," Mustang said firmly, "Nothing you'd be interested in anyway. It's about alchemy, that's all."

"I take it that it's the Philosopher's Stone then," Shikamaru said, studying Mustang's reaction carefully. Sadly, for him at least, Temari immediately looked at Shikamaru sharply as she sat up. It blocked his view of Mustang.

"Ha ha, very good," Mustang said._ This'll be very interesting, _ "Why are _you_ so interested in it?"

"It's a stone that can grant immortality, turn lead to gold, and that's what it can do for wizards. For alchemists like you two, it could do anything in your wildest dreams," Shikamaru said. "Who wouldn't be interested in it?"

"A stone that can grant immortality?" Harry asked in awe. "I think that everybody would want it."

The door was smashed open all of a sudden with a loud BANG. It was a girl with pink hair. Ed, Mustang, and Harry were shocked to see _pink_ hair on someone. Shikamaru and Temari looked surprised to see her, not her hair.

"What's wro—," Shikamaru asked urgently.

"Shikamaru, Temari, Sasuke's back. He's on in our compartment," Sakura panted, looking and sounding very flustered.

"WHAT!?" Shikamaru growled. "Why's he back? Is he looking for it too?"

Sakura shrugged and said, "I should get back. Neji might not be able to hold Naruto off."

With that, she left as quickly as she had come.

Ed took this opportunity to ask the two most obvious questions to ask.

"Who's Sasuke? And was that pink hair _natural_?"

"He's Naruto's best friend I guess you could say. He betrayed the village a couple months ago, and it took up a lot of trouble to just try to get him back. He and the other ninja that were escorting him put up quite a fight," Shikamaru said. Just because Jiraiya said that they should know that they were ninja doesn't mean that they get the entire story. "And yes, it's natural."

For the fourth time that day, the door was knocked upon. This time, it was a round-faced boy.

"Have any of you seen a toad?" he asked tearfully.

All of the compartment's passengers shook their head no, except for Shikamaru. You lazy butt, Shika-kun.

"I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!" The boy turned away.

"Don't know why he's so bothered. But I brought Scabbers so I can't talk," Ron said, as he the rat snoozed in Ron's lap.

"He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," Ron said, poking Scabbers with his wand. "I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work."

"That's sixth year magic," Shikamaru said, "Show me the spell."

Ron cleared his throat and shrugged. He said, "Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow."

Shikamaru snorted as he heard the first line. "Who gave it to you? It's obviously a fake. A real spell would have a couple words in it. Not a poem like that."

"Stupid Fred. I bet he knew it was a dud," Ron muttered darkly.

"I just can't believe you fell for it. Have you even looked through the textbooks yet?" Shikamaru snorted again.

"Now listen you," Ron growled. "Jus—,"

"You two stop fighting," Mustang ordered. Ron started. He forgot that Mustang was also in the compartment.

"I'm bored…anybody want to play some poker?" Edward leaned forward as he said this, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

"Nobody play with him. He cheats," Mustang said nonchalantly.

"Hey!" Edward pouted, "You didn't have to tell everybody that! And how'd you know?"

"Really, did you expect that Al wouldn't tell anybody?" Mustang smirked.

"Hmf," Edward folded his arms, and sat back.

"What about chess?" Shikamaru asked.

"Let's play," Mustang said, confident he could beat this boy.

All of a sudden, the door smashed open…again and revealed the Malfoy boy.

"So it's true, Harry Potter's on this train. So is the famous Hohenheim's son," Malfoy sneered. "Sorry I didn't recognize you two when we first met. I just didn't expect you to hang out with that giant brute Hagrid or this trash. Wait a minute…why are you on this?"

"Glad you asked, Malfoy, I'm a new teacher," Mustang grinned evilly.

Malfoy paled, if that was really possible. He regained his composure and said, "I can help you make good choices for your friends." He held out a hand.

"Malfoy. As much as I agree with you that Mustang is trash, I have to say, dream on, albino kid. Why don't you leave?"

Malfoy flushed with anger as he said, "I don't think we want to leave. You've got a lot of sweets, why don't you share them?"

Crabbe moved over to grab one of the Pumpkin Pasties. Temari stood up and she grabbed her fan.

"Sit down Temari. Your attack will do too much damage," Shikamaru yawned.

"Well you're not doing anything!"

"Ed is doing something."

Indeed, Ed had just punched Crabbe hard enough to knock him out. Maybe for good; he punched with his automail arm. But that'll be good for everybody, won't it? Malfoy whimpered and he ran off like a dog with his tail between his legs. Goyle stayed behind for a second to attempt to wake Crabbe up. No use. Crabbe was knocked cold; it'll probably take a nice shock from Mustang to wake him up.

"Bloody hell! That was amazing! Who are you people?" Ron asked in amazement.

"Haha, I've just got a good punch. And I'm pretty sure that Shikamaru gave away that I'm an alchemist," Ed said. He didn't want anybody knowing about his automail.

"He did?" Ron asked, being the idiot.

"Have you been fighting?" a disapproving voice said as Ed went to check on how bad Crabbe was beaten up. There was a large bump steadily growing on Crabbe's fore head

"Who're you?" Ed asked rudely as he kicked Crabbe's head lightly to see if he would wake. He looked up to see the girl. She was a bushy brown haired girl that had the air of a teacher or at least someone who didn't like the rules being broken.

"Hermione Granger. And you had better not get in trouble this early! We're not even there yet! Unlike you, I actually care about the rules," Hermione sniffed. "By the way, we'll be getting there soon, so you should change soon…By the way, the red-head, you've got some dirt on your nose."

Ron and Ed grumbled at the unwelcome girl as she turned heel and left. They changed in to the school uniforms, Ed a tad reluctantly, and the train came to a slow stop at Hogsmeade station.

* * *

"So…where do we go?" Naruto asked, looking around King's Cross Station. They were there to find the Philosopher's Stone. Not really. To get on to the train to get to the place to find the Philosopher's Stone! Uwaaaa! This was hurting his brain. Maybe he should stop thinking. …Yes, it felt better now.

"Platform nine and three-quarters," Shikamaru answered. He had already memorized the letter word for word. Letter for letter. Right down to the last little splotch of ink on the paper. Down to the last grain of paper the paper was made out of. It helped when you had a photographic memory. And was a genius. And the only one who was actually serious about this mission, as demonstrated by Naruto's next comment.

"So…where do we go?" Naruto asked.

"I can't believe you were actually trained by Jiraiya(3). He must've at least taught you how to recognize a genjutsu," Sakura sighed.

"Nope. Never," Naruto said cheerfully oblivious to Sakura's disbelief.

"Wonderful." Shikmaru said sarcastically, "We're going to be going to a magic school, where there will be illusions at every corner and _now_ you say that you don't know how to recognize them?"

"Where _is_ Jiraiya?" Temari said looking around. She didn't feel particularly safe for any of the females at the train station at the moment…especially when Jiraiya developed an invisibility jutsu when he was younger. He could just sneak up on you and molest you. That sent shivers down Temari's spine

"He's off flirting," Neji said nonchalantly. It was obvious he didn't want to be there. Being spotted with Naruto, that is. "He's not doing a very good job. He got hit over the head twice already. "

"So where is the genjutsu?" Naruto asked. He was already much too used to Jiraiya doing his 'researching' from all those mini training trips that he was forced to go on. And each time…Gama the wallet became flatter…and flatter…and flatter. But on the good side, he kept on winning the slot machines.

"It's between the 9 and 10 signs. It's actually a barrier between this station and the station to get to Hogwarts Express…Someone should stay back and wait for Jiraiya, because if he can't find it, I'd bet anything that he'd just head back to Konoha."

"Neh," Naruto groaned. "Why can't Pervy Sage stop flirting for once?"

"Because he's Jiraiya. If Jiraiya stopped being a pervert, the world would be coming to an end, it's like…it's like if Tsunade suddenly stopped gambling and stopped drinking sake," Sakura giggled.

"Or if Orochimaru stopped being a gay pedophile," Naruto giggled as he added that. "What's taking Pervert Sage so long? Oy! Pervy Sage, hurry up!" Naruto hollered. King's Cross suddenly silenced as everybody looked at the weird little boy with what looked like _whisker marks_who was screaming on the top of his lungs.

"NARUTO! Shut up!" Sakura growled as she hit him. She then hissed, "We aren't supposed to stand out, you idiot!"

"But that was the only way that Jiraiya would hurry up! OW!" Naruto yelped. His first bruise from a couple days ago probably still hadn't healed.

"Next time, leave it to us," Neji said.

"So, Shika-kun. Tell me again. How exactly did Naruto get to become a genin?" Temari asked. "He's probably the worst one. I mean he's wearing ORANGE! What kind of ninja wears orange?"

"A dunce. A complete failure. Naruto," Shikamaru smirked.

"Nyeh," Naruto stuck his tongue at Shikamaru.

The rest of the ninja noticed a large white haired man walking over to them.

"Naruto. Next time, don't call me PERVY SAGE!" Jiraiya roared.

"Okay," Naruto whimpered.

"Now onto platform nine and three-quarters," Jiraiya announced. "Is anybody looking? Oh and before I forget, Tsunade has allowed you to say you're ninja. Expecially with Naruto around, I think it'll be pretty hard to hide it anyway."

"_Everybody _is looking," Neji announced. "It's all because of that baka's screaming."

"Just go," Jiraiya muttered. _How in kami did I get stuck with a baby-sitting job?_ He thought.

"Woow!" Naruto gasped as he saw the train. "That's cool!"

"You've never seen a train before?" Temari said with her eyebrow raised.

"…So?" Naruto said, sticking his tongue out.

"Sakura. That's the kid with the fake limbs," Neji motioned.

Sakura looked at the person Neji was motioning and blushed. He was cute!

"Don't tell me that you're going to go up to him and say, 'Hello, can I look at your fake limbs and take them down to the last screw?'" Neji sneered.

"I'm not an idiot," Sakura sniffed. She climbed onto the train and looked around to find an empty compartment.

"Neji? Do you see any?" Sakura asked.

"There's one with three seats a couple rows down. And Sakura, the Byakugun was not designed to find seats in a train," Neji growled.

"It wasn't designed to do that, but I can make it like that," Sakura said, sticking her tongue at him.

Neji growled. Sakura skipped off to the compartment that Neji talked about. She slid open the door and asked, "Do you mind if we sit here?"

"No not at all! I'm Hermione Granger, and this is Neville Longbottom. They are Cody Aligheri and Sasuke Uchiha, right?" Hermione made the introductions and looked back at Sasuke to make sure she got his name correctly.

Sakura felt her breath get caught in her throat. It couldn't be. It was impossible. But it was true. There was Sasuke. Sitting there. It was as if it was their first day as genin again. But no. It was different. She was different. Neji just glared at Sasuke. For abandoning the village. For nearly getting him killed. For hurting his teammates. And most of all, for making him dislike spiders.

"You can SEE?" Hermione gasped, peering at Neji's white eyes.

"Yes, I can, now go away," Neji said, acting like his usual hostile self.

"Sasuke," Sakura whispered under her breath. She couldn't hold it in. After all that time they were chasing Sasuke, there he was. The last place she would think of.

"Do you guys know each other?" Hermione asked conversationally, slightly miffed at Neji, not noticing the hostile air between Neji and Sasuke.

"Not well. We met each other previously, during an exam," Neji said, tearing their eye contact.

"An exam? Can you tell me about it? I've only been in Muggle ones, and they've-"

"Granger, has anybody told you that you are quite annoying?" Neji hissed. His words were covered up by Naruto's. Apparently Naruto got over his initial surprise.

"SASUKE YOU BASTARD!" Naruto growled.

"Urustankachi," Sasuke smirked.

"Why the hell did you leave? You could've gotten stronger in Konoha," Naruto hissed.

"Orochimaru only wants your body to get your Sharingan," Sakura added softly.

"He can have it if it means that it's my body that kills Itachi," Sasuke glared. "Dobe, stop bothering me."

Hermione looked even more annoyed at Neji while Naruto and Sasuke were having a fight, with their words, that god. Now if this was a real ninja fight…Hogwarts better have another train. And an experienced healer. Like Tsunade. Sakura was getting there, but if the two of them went al out, all hell would be let loose.

"So, Cody," Hermione said searching around for a topic that didn't include that rude boy…girl…boy? "Are you two by any chance related to Dante Aligheri?"

"I don't have any Italian blood, as far as I know," Cody replied.

"But isn't Aligheri an Italian last name?" Hermione asked, confused.

"I'm adopted, so I guess maybe," Cody said tartly. "Either way, I don't have any Italian blood."

"So are you guys Muggle borns or pureblood?" Hermione asked. She wanted to find another Muggle born to talk about school, Muggle school of course, and all those things that wizards don't have.

"Pureblood," Cody said, starting to get annoyed of the girl. The white-eyed guy was right. She _could_ get annoying.

"Oh… I see," Hermione said, feeling a little bit put down.

While Hermione and Cody were doing fine... a bit, the tension between the ninja was growing steadily. Neji and Naruto were glaring at Sasuke who was looking out the window. Sakura was having a fight with her Inner Self.

"Neji, save my spot, I've got to tell Shikamaru and Temari," Sakura couldn't help herself. She had to go tell them. And get Sasuke out of her mind.

"So you're looking for it too, aren't you?" Neji said so softly that only ninja like them could hear it. They couldn't risk anybody finding out there plans.

"What's it to you? And yes I am," Sasuke hissed, "I suppose you're going to try and stop me."

"How'd you guess?" Neji sneered.

"I swore to Sakura that I would get you back," Naruto said quietly, "And I don't go back on my word."

"You can't beat me, haven't I proved that before?" Sasuke smirked. "You can't just rely on your stupid Rasengan against my Chidori."

Sakura came back. She sat back down, and ignored Sasuke. She couldn't bring herself to say something to him at the moment, after remembering their last encounter, when she was trying to convince him to stay back, quite horribly too.

"Oh no, Trevor!" Neville said in distress, looking all around for his toad. Sakura was surprised. She had forgotten that the silent boy was in the compartment.

"He must've gotten out when you opened the door!" Neville cried, "I'm going to go out and look for him."

"I think I'll come with you," Hermione said, hurriedly getting up happy to help someone out.

"Well, now that bitch is out of the way," Cody said as he watched as Hermione stumbled after Neville, "Care to introduce us, snakey?"

"Of course, Wrath," Sasuke smirked back. "Wrath meet the weaklings of Konoha, Naruto, Sakura, and Neji, and Shikamaru and Temari, from the Sand, are on some other compartment."

The ninja looked at each other, with the same thought running through their head, _Codename?_

"Who are you people?" Naruto asked, sounding braver than he felt.

"Homunculi," Wrath smirked, assuming that the ninja didn't know what homunculi were.

Naruto, being Naruto, yelled, "What! That's not possible!"

How wrong he was. Both of them.

"Kid, get used to a world where nothing makes sense," Wrath smiled evilly.

"So your name is Wrath? As in the Seven Sins?" Sakura asked, repulsive of the names. They were the Seven Sins! Probably literally! And if that wasn't enough, there were probably five others, one for each of the other sins.

"Yes, I am," Wrath said, smirking.

"Are there seven of you?" Neji asked, returning to the mini interrogation.

"One of them died, served him right," Wrath smiled maliciously, "Lust, Gluttony, Pride, Envy, and Sloth."

"Why are you telling this to us?" Neji asked cautiously.

"You see, you ninja, no matter how strong you are, can't beat any of us," Wrath smirked, convinced that he was stronger than any of the ninja.

_**That punk thinks he's better than us!**_Inner Sakura thought madly and got a glint in her eye. _**We're gonna beat him up right!? Anyone that comes between…between…between my outer and me is going to DIE! Shannaro!**_

"I suggest you don't degrade us like that, Wrath," Neji spat the name.

"I'm not. You suck that much. I can merge with any object I want to," Wrath said.

"Ah, and here I thought you weren't going to tell them," Sasuke interjected, smirking.

"I'm not saying the others'. Envy would kill me if I did. He likes the expressions when he catches them off guard."

Just then something clicked in Sakura's mind.

"If you're homunculi…you've got no soul. So what? Were you created in a jar or something?" Sakura asked the second part sarcastically.

"No, we are the result of stepping over a taboo," Wrath said mysteriously, to most of the ninja at least, "If you want to know more, ask the Fullme--, I mean that Edward Elric shrimp. Dunno how much he'll tell you though. Let's just say that we've caused him a few _problems_ in the past," Wrath smirked again. He liked smirking, oh yes he did.

"Edward Elric?" Sakura asked.

"He's the shrimp with blond hair and a metal arm and leg, ring any bells?" Wrath said, impatiently.

Neji and Sakura exchanged a shocked look as Naruto looked like he was thinking hard. Apparently nothing had come to mind. That idiot. And _thennn_ he remembered.

"Oh right. It's that guy that you were obsessed with, right Sakura?" Naruto asked, finally realizing it.

"I'm not obsessed!" Sakura blushed. "I just want to know how his automail is on! It's connected by nerves, which means that it must her a lot. Also, any sort of anesthetic would close up the wound when the surgery for the port was put in."

Wrath laughed, not an evil laugh, a haha, that's so funny laugh, "His little girlfriend's just like you."

Sakura wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing, and coming from Wrath, though she barely knew him...it…whatever…it sounded like a bad thing.

_**So…is that a good or a bad thing…Outer…? Do you know? **_Apparently Inner Sakura was also a tad confused. _**Cuz that Wrath dude says that we're like that girl. But he's a bad guy…right? Or else why would he be with Oro-kun?**_

_Oro…kun…? _Sakura thought. Her inner really needed to get things straight. Orochimaru was most definitely not –kun worthy. Maybe –sama since he was a one of the Three Sannin. But most definitely NOT a –kun.

_**Hell yeah! He's cute for a 50 year old snakey little bastard, **_Inner thought excitedly. _**Of course, if he wasn't a pedophile, he would be a lot better. But then agaaaain, that might mean he'll go for us,--**_

Sakura thought back, _You have got some _major_ issues. _She immediately shut Inner out of her mind. She was scarred for life. All because of her boy-crazed Inner. Apparently she would also go for the pedophilic 50 year old ones, whose dream was to crush Konoha. And was obsessed with a teenage boy...but I suppose that's what the pedophilic part was for.

"So why are you here? Well I suppose for the Philosopher's Stone, but why would you need it?" Sakura asked. "You're immortal, aren't you? And apparently each of you has some kind of power that relates to your name, or at least you do, Wrath."

"Smart girl," Wrath grinned, "Too bad I don't like it when they're smart. I want to turn back into human."

"Why would you want to? Isn't it better being immortal and having your powers?" Sakura said confused.

"Neh? Sakura how is his power related to his name?" Naruto asked.

"Wrath is when you're angry and you want to take it out on someone or soemthing. If he merges with something, then that thing is basically gone. It's in his body and possibly some of the atoms go in to the air. I'm not sure. Either way, the item disappears (4). Although...I suppose there's a limit to the size," Sakura said, eyes not wavering from Wrath's smirk which gradually widened as Sakura went on with her explanation for Naruto.

"Smart girl, very smart," Wrath sneered. "But that's not going to get you any closer to defeating us."

"You said that you're a homunculi that was created through a taboo of alchemy. The only one I can think of is human transmutation. You're a fake of a human that died, how to beat you, I'm sure Shikamaru can think of something. But no doubt, you made a mistake telling us that," Sakura said sounding far more strongly and assuredly than she felt. There was just something about the homunculi that could make anyone scared.

"I'll just have to make sure that this Shikamaru doesn't figure it out. And besides, we know our weakness. Even if you did figure it out, there is no way you'll be able to beat us, anyway," Wrath said, remembering how Dante telling him how homunculi die.

"We'll do anything to kill you, if you even try to hurt anyone," Naruto growled.

"You'll do anything you can, you mean. It's impossible to stop them. I've fought against them, and I lost, need I remind you that I beat you in the valley?" Sasuke smirked.

"That was a fluke. You didn't have to fight that bony guy before our fight."

"You've got Ky_--_," Sasuke smirked, aware that Sakura and Neji didn't know about Kyuubi. Naruto cut him short.

"And you got a powerup with that stupid mark," Naruto growled.

Apparently Sasuke decided to hold Kyuubi over Naruto's head and said nothing more but smirked.

"Hey, you guys, we're nearly there," Sakura said, looking out the train's window to see the sun setting slowly, and Hogsmeade station in the distance.

They just changed in time for the train to pull up in Hogsmeade station. The six of them filed out of the compartment, with Naruto leading excitedly and charging out, yelling and cheering. This led to a sweat drop from all in the vicinity and more, thanks to Naruto's abnormally large lungs. It rivals the size of Ed's...especially when he's yelling about how he's not a shrimp.

"Firs' years, over here!"

Naruto looked up to see a giant. Well not exactly, more like an abnormally large person.

"Hello Hagrid," Naruto heard a boy say. Naruto spun around to see a scrawny looking kid, a first year.

"Hello Harry, Ed," Hagrid faltered a bit at the Ed's grumpy expression, "Is somethin' wrong?"

"That bastard should be happy he's a teacher and gets to leave. Otherwise, he'd be dead already," Ed grumbled.

Harry explained, "Professor Mustang called him...short."

Hagrid nodded knowingly remembering Ed's reaction from Diagon Alley.

"C'mon follow me! Any more firs' years? Mind yer step now!" Hagrid said as he led the first years through a trail so dark on either sides it seemed to be through a forest.

"No more'n four to a boat," Hagrid said, as he motioned to the fleet of small boats docked on the shore.

Naruto jumped into a boat with Harry, Ron, and Ed. He faltered a bit at remembering that Sakura would have to deal with Sasuke, but noticed that she already made a friend...in about five minutes... The other girl was a bushy brown haired girl that Naruto vaguely remembered as the girl that was in their compartment at the beginning of the ride. They were jabbering on as Sakura glanced every now and then at Sasuke.

Naruto held in a laugh as he saw Neji's eye twitching as he followed Sasuke and the homunculi freak on to a boat. Better them than some stupid kids that would be staring at Neji's eyes the entire time. Naruto felt a shiver down his back as he realized that the moment he and Neji were alone...he was dead. For leaving him with Sasuke and the two creeps. Naruto tried to calm himself down by thinking that he beat Neji in the chuunin exams...but it wasn't helping very much.

"Hi! I'm Uz--, I mean, Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto said cheerfully, trying to ignore Neji's death glare; it was nearly as good as the Uchiha death glare.

"Edward Elric," Ed said absently, staring intently at the group Naruto was just looking at.

"Harry Potter," Harry said, staring at the hyperactive blond like he was crazy. I don't blame him.

"Ron Weasley," Ron said.

"Heads down!" Hagrid yelled as the boats passed through a thick layer of ivy.

Ed, being a shrimp, didn't even have to duck. He seethed slightly.

They reached an underground harbor where they climbed out of he boats. They walked up a flight of stone steps and Hagrid raised a giant fist and knocked three times. The door opened by itself magically to reveal a tall black-haired witch in green robes.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," Hagrid said.

"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."

McGonagall led them across the room and led the new students into an empty chamber.

"The four houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history, and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit wto whichever house becomes yours," McGonagal said.

Ed was paying much attention. He was too focused on thinking of a way to find the Philosopher's Stone. And he was looking at that child that looked oddly like Wrath. Ed shook his head and decided that he was being too suspicious and paranoid. Perhaps it was because Al wasn't with him.

He was shaken out of his thoughts when there was a screech. Pearly white figures came floating, one after another, talking quite animatedly (for dead people).

A ghost wearing a ruffle and tights suddenly noticed the first years and let out a hearty laugh.

"New students, eh?"

"Yes," Sakura said warily, eyeing the ghost.

"Hope to see you in Hufflepuff, my old house, you know?" the Fat Friar said, joyfully.

"Move along now. The Sorting Cremony's about to start," a sharp voice ordered, "Now form a line and follow me."

They were led into the Great Hall. There were thousands of candles floating mid air over four long tables where the students were sitting. Ed's mind uselessly informed him that it was one for each house. Ed glanced upwards to see a black ceiling dotted with tiny white lights...stars. Ed smiled to himself slightly, in Central, it was far too bright to see many stars.

Professor McGonagall placed a four legged stool in front of the first years. The brim twitched and widened and began to sing:

"_Oh you may not think I'm pretty,_

_But don't judge on what you see, _

_I'll eat myself if you can find, _

_A smarter hat than me. _

_You can keep your bowlers black, _

_Yout top hats sleek and tall,_

_For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat_

_ANd I can cap them all._

_There's nothing hidden in your head _(Ed paniced slightly here as did Naruto)

_The sorting Hat can't see, _

_So try me on and I will tell you _

_Where you ought to be,_

_You might belong in Gryffindor, _

_Where drwell the brave at heart,_

_Their daring, nerve, and chivalry_

_Set Gryffindors apart;_

_You might belong in Hufflepuff_

_Where they are just and loyal,_

_Those patient Hufflepuffs are true_

_And unafriad of toil;_

_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

_If you've a ready mind_

_Where those wit and learning,_

_will always find their kind;_

_Or perhaps in Slytherin_

_You'll make you real friend,_

_Those cunning folk use any means_

_To achieve their ends._

_So put me on! Don't be afraid! _

_And don't get in a flap _

_You're in safe hands (though I have none)_

_For I'm a Thinking Hat!_

McGonagall started calling out names, starting with an "Abbot, Hannah," who went into Hufflepuff. Then an "Aligheri, Cody." Ed gasped as the Hat barely touched Wrath's head and yelled "SLYTHERIN!". It caused a couple first years, those near him, to glance at him oddly. But Ed couldn't hold it in. He finally had a clear view of the kid. It had to be Wrath. No way it wasn't.

Ed glanced at 'Cody' and saw him smirking. Cody mouthed 'Pipsqueak.' Ed ground his teeth as he held his breath. He glanced at Mustang who had his eyebrow raised and Ed shook his head.

"This year, we are proud to house seven foreign exchange students. Five from Konoha Ninja Academy, one from Sound Ninja Academy," insert skeptical looks and mutterings about ninja, "and one from Amestris's State Alchemist Academy. I trust that you will treat them with the respect you will treat you're classmates. Perhaps, if they like it here, they will return for the next six years, as they are skilled to be picked to come here," Dumbledore announced, eyes twinkling.

McGonagall started with the ninja.

"Elric, Edward," was the first one to be called. Mustang smirked as he saw the confident expression on Ed's face, much like the one that he wore three years ago to the State Alchemist exams.

"Do you really think he's related to Hohenheim?" Ed heard someone mutter and ground his teeth slightly.

_An alchemist from Amestris, are you now? And the son of Hohenheim--_

_Don't ever compare me with that bastard, _Ed thought angrily at the hat.

_I'm sorry, _the hat apologized, and went on_, the youngest State Alchemist. Also the youngest to attempt and survive a human transmutation. You'd do anything for your brother, to get him to return back to normal, except to make a Philosopher's Stone. Yet, you seem to be here, to steal one. You also are skilled at tricking, like with this Yoki person. Quite an interesting boy, aren't you? You're perfect for Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, or Slytherin. You're a genius, perfect for Ravenclaw, you are one of the bravest I've ever met, which is important for Gryffindors, and you are quite talented at tricking people, if you ask me. _

_I don't care, _Ed thought, starting to get bored and impatient.

_Well it should be _"GRYFFINDOR!"

One of the tables exploded with clapping at the prospect of getting the first foreign exchange student.

"Haruno, Sakura." Sakura walked timidly to the shabby hat. McGonagall placed it on her head.

_A ninja, eh? The first one I've ever sorted. Quite a smart girl, and very loyal and brave. You even went after this Sasuke after he left the village, although you knew you were no match for him...no offense. You don't care much about having power, you'd much rather have good friends with you. So Ravenclaw or Gryffindor_(5)_? Which would you to in?  
_

_Mr. Hat man? I'd like to go into Gryffindor, if you don't mind, _Sakura thought back.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat roared to the students, and the table at the very right clapped loudly and cheerfully. Sakura took off the hat and set it on the stool before walking over to the table. She was immediately bombarded by questions, namely about her hair and if it was natural or not.

"Hyuuga, Neji." Neji stalked over to the hat, sending out as many of the level 3 Death Glares as he could. Not as strong as that one he was sending Naruto earlier, but enough to make some of the younger students cringe.

_Another ninja, my my, this year will be most interesting, don't you agree?_

...

_Well, let's see where you can go. Hmm, I'm getting...barriers. If you don't mind can you release them?_

...

_I see. Let's see how much I can get out from this. A prodigy. I need more help._ The hat finally gave up and Neji finally complied to the help part.

_Put me in Ravenclaw._

"Ravenclaw!" The hat agreed, glad he was finally done with this...this unusually private person. The Ravenclaw table clapped unenthusiastically. They thought that Neji should've been in Slytherin instead, according to the number of glares he was sending out.

"Nara, Shikamaru," Shikamaru walked over, lazily.

"RAVENCLAW!" the hat called out barely grazing Shikamaru's head.

"Sabuko, Temari," Temari sat down, a small smile curling on her lips as she glanced at Shikamaru.

_One of the talented three shinobi of the Sand, the children of the former Kazekage. Very smart, and you'll do anything for your friends. You were part of the attempted coup against Konoha. Quite a difficult choice, but I know which house is best for you, _"SLYTHERIN!(6)"

Temari gave a tiny pout to Shikamaru as she walked over to the Slytherin table. The Slytherins were clapping loudly as they realized that there was at least one foreign exchange student that was good enough for them.

"Uchiha, Sasuke." Sasuke walked over with an expression that just screamed 'You baka's aren't worth my time.'

Like with Shikamaru, before McGonagall even let go of the hat, the hat screamed, "SLYTHERIN."

Again, the Slytherin's clapped loudly. For the hat to decide that quickly must mean that this Sasuke was perfect in Slytherin, and as cunning as all the rest.

"Uzumaki, Naruto," Naruto practically ran toward the stool, being the impatient number one knucklehead ninja. He could barely keep himself still as he planted his ass on the chair.

_Ho ho, quite impatient are you? Now...oh...my...I seem to see a very dark aura...if I am not mistaken, is this the famous Kyuubi? _

**_Very good,_** Kyuubi cackled.

_Please don't judge me from Kyuubi_, Naruto practically begged, giving the hat the best puppy-dog look he could muster.

_Not to worry, well let's get this sorting done. Not very bright are you...? You don't care about power at all, besides a dream of becoming Hokage, but that's only to get respect. You are quite brave, you charge into battles...without...thinking...How do you stay alive? _The hat asked, aghast.

_**I ask myself that question every day.**_

_Hey!_

_Well,_ "GRYFFINDOR" _is the best house for you, _the hat said, chuckling to himself.

Naruto practically jumped down to the the Gryffindor to sit down next to Sakura.

"Hello Naruto, was it?" a bushy brown haired girl said, reaching her hand out to allow Naruto to shake it. Naruto remembered her vaguely as the girl he saw Sakura talking to.

"Yep!"

"Can't he hurry up?" Ed moaned as he stared longingly at the empty golden plates.

"Can you stop thinking about food for a moment?" Harry teased.

"There is a time for speech making, but it is not now, so tuck in!" Dumbledore said.

Ed cheered to himself at this. He spotted the formerly empty golden plates fill up with the most delicious food... and a few rather odd ones.

"I'm Hermione Granger. Dumbledore said you were from Amestris?" a bushy haired-girl said rather quickly(7). "Is the Law of Equivalent Exchange true? You have to give something in order to do something else."

"Yeesshh," Ed said as he continued stuffing all the food he could reach into his mouth. He finally swallowed and sighed happily, "This food is good."

And thus, the cycle began again. Hermione would ask a question about Amestris while Ed was stuffing himself and he would mutter an intelligable answer.

"Sakura! Look! There's ramen!" Naruto cheered as he dove for the bowl and moved it in front of him to chomp on.

"Ahhh, it's not as good as Ichiriku's but it's still ramen!" Naruto said.

"Naruto you idiot, are you going to eat that entire thing?" Sakura scolded.

"Mmhmm!" Naruto's face was practically in the bowl and vacuuming up the noodles.

"Oi, mate, I think there's something wrong with them," Ron muttered under his breath. He took a bite out of his chicken leg. Harry just shrugged and went back to his food.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Ravenclaw table, Neji and Shikamaru weren't having such a good time. Mostly Neji.

"So...you're not blind."

"No, I'm not."

"So why are your eyes white?"

"Does there have to be a reason?" Neji said exasperated.

"There's always a reason."

"They just are."

"Oh, so then--"

"Shut up, if you don't, you'll never speak again." Neji hissed.

"Fine, fine," the unfortunately dumb Ravenclaw muttered. He then mumbled, "Who stuck a stick up your ass?"

Neji made a wise choice of pretending not to hear the comment, but the twitch in his eye showed otherwise.

"Shikamaru...they are annoying," Neji hissed.

"This is troublesome," Shikamaru answered, not really listening.

"Shikamaru," Neji said warningly.

"Oh, alright," Shikamaru sighed. "So they get on your nerves, what do you want me to do?"

Neji growled.

"Don't kill them," Shikamaru sighed.

Neji growled again.

* * *

At the Slytherin table, tensions were rising high.

"Sabuko."

"Uchiha."

"Still hanging out with the teme? I thought you were better than that, with the Chuunin exam deal,"

"Still hanging out with the snakey gay pedophile? I thought you were better than that, being Naruto's friend," Temari countered, just as cold, if not colder.

"I have no use for friends," Sasuke stated.

"He only has allies," Cody interjected.

The other Slytherins were keeping their distance, except for a certain Draco Malfoy and of course, Cody. The former seemed keen on getting Sasuke's. He seemed like just the guy to convince to be on his team.

"Sasuke Uchiha, was it? I'm Draco Malfoy," Malfoy said smoothly.

"Hn," Sasuke scowled as he bit into an onigiri.

Malfoy faltered for a second. He wasn't used to anybody, besides those filthy Mudbloods, who haven't heard of or didn't care about Malfoy's. He regained his composture and smirked to himself a little. He liked a challenge.

"I hear you're from Konoha's strongest family, the Uchiha clan--"

"Shut up," Sasuke said crankily. Now was not the time to be reminded of his bastard brother. Sasuke swore under his breath, as he remembered the look that night.

"Give it up, Malfoy," Blaise Zabini said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "Try any more, and we'll start to think you're _interested_ in him." Blaise wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.

Malfoy's cheeks tinged pink as he rejected that thought.

"If you say that again, Zabini, you might find yourself not able to speak anymore," Sasuke said smoothly and appeared nonchalantly as he glanced at Zabini.

Zabini shuddered as he said, "Fine, fine."

Cody, meanwhile was laughing his guts out.

"So, Temari, do you always carry that giant...black...thing around?" Pansy Parkinson, who Temari thought looked oddly like a pit bull, asked eyeing the 'giant black thing'.

"Yup," Temari bit off a dango. "I'm a ninja remember? It's not at all like those Muggle ideas. I mean look at Naruto. Who would have ever thought that he could pass of as a ninja?"

Malfoy, Pansy, and the rest of the surrounding Slytherins turned to look at the Gryffindor table where the young blonde was talking the pink haired girl over a bowl of what looked like noodles.

"Is it just me or is he wearing _orange?_" Pansy asked, scandilous, voicing everybody's thoughts.

"Yes he is, that dobe," Sasuke answered, barely looking up.

"So anyway," Pansy said dismissing Sasuke's rude tone, no matter how true, "You always carry that? It looks really heavy."

"Yep," Temari said.

The rest of the dinner was filled with friendly and not so friendly chattering. Mostly coming from around Sasuke and Neji.

"Now that we are all fed and watered, there are a few start of term announcements I'd like to make," Dumbledore said as he stood up and the desserts disappeared from the golden plates. "First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden, and a few of our older students should know this as well.

"Mr. Filch, our caretaker, has asked me to remind you that any use of magic in the corridors and between classes are prohibited. Quidditch teams will be having tryouts during the second week of term. If you wish to play for your house team, contact Professor Hooch.

"This year, we are proud to add two additions to our staff. Professor Roy Mustang, from Edward's school, Amestris State Alchemist Academy, will be taking over History of Magic." There were some skeptical whispers and muttering here.

"I'm sure many of you wonder how somebody from Amestris will teach you the history of magic. Well, I believe that there is no better teacher than an alchemist from Amestris to teach this particular class, I'll save the lecture for Professor Mustang. Now, the other teacher is Professor Jiraiya who will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. He is one of the Sannin of Konoha, the three legendary ninja that is near or at Kage level, meaning they can become a ruler of one of the countries."

"Let us sing the school song together." Dumbledore waved his wand as the teachers grimaced.

All of the Slytherins kept their mouths tightly sewed up, as did a few other students, such as Neji. Namely, him and Edward. The latter grimaced as he wondered what the hell he gave to have to endure this. This horrible horrible sound.

The prefects led the students to their dormitories after Dumbledore dismissed them to retire for the night.

* * *

(1)- Yes, I know that Hohenheim doesn't have a last name in the anime and in the manga, his name is actually the name of Paracelsus in our world. But I wanted there to be a relation.

(2)- Yes, I know, it's totally clichéd. But I couldn't think of a decent last name…or at least I was too lazy to.

(3)- NOTE: This is before the timeskip, since I don't think they'll be able to pass off as 11 year olds without Henges 24/7 and Naruto's the only who can pull that off with Kyuubi and all…I think. Maybe Gaara, but he's not here at the moment, now is he?

(4)- Yeah, Yeah, I know, the explanation sucked, but I wanted _something_. It took me forever to think of it. --

(5)- I know people usually say that Hufflepuff is for the loyal, but in the songs, I think it says that Hufflepuff will 'take the rest,' which means the ones that aren't fit for the other houses...no offense to anyone who likes Hufflepuffers. Besides, I think bravery comes with loyalty, since if you aren't brave, you wouldn't be loyal to the one you think is right, instead, you'll go with whichever one will be easier on you.

(6)- I originally planned for her to go into Ravenclaw with Shikamaru, but then I changed my mind, cuz I want to see her torment Malfoy and the others. BWAHAHAHA

(7)- Hermione's everywhere, isn't she? XD

**Sorry for the crappy ending. I just wanted to get it out. XD Reviews are welcome!! Verrrry welcome. :) And sorry for the crappy chapter, not much inspiration and a whole lotta writer's block means a crappy chap, like this one.  
**


	4. Chapter 3

**Yay!! I thought of a new title :) It's Hogwarts Chronicles: The Alchemist, since I plan on making a story for each of the books, making a diff character the main character, in this one, you can so tell it's Ed :) I'm probably not gonna be able to make it through the entire series, but hey, a girl can dream right? ^^**

**I updated both stories today! I'm so proud of myself XD  
**

Ed spun around through a pitch black world. Had he gone blind? No, he could still see his hands and his body. He heard a soft sound from behind...a whimper. Looking for the source, and hopefully an explanation, he twirled. He froze.

Ed saw a woman who had chestnut brown hair and eyes and a soft sweet smile. He saw his mother. An involuntary cry escaped his lips.

But there was something wrong. In her eyes, it was blank, lifeless...dead.

Her smile turned into a shriek. Her entire body seemed to morph and her hair became stringy and coarse. Her eyes lost what depth it had and became unfocused. He saw the thing that he had convinced Al to help him create. As Ed reluctantly watched the morphing, he couldn't move a single muscle to turn away as he watched his mother twist with pain and anger.

He felt vomit move up his throat and swallowed it back down.

A small voice whispered in his ear, "You caused this. It was your fault. If you didn't do the human transmutation, none of this would have happened. Al wouldn't be in a suit of armor. He would be a boy…a real one. You wouldn't have to join the military and be a dog of the military. You caused all those people in Lior. You caused Scar to kill the military men. You killed all those 'innocent' men. They had families too, people they cared about, people like what Al means to you..."

Ed spun around gasping. It was Shou Tucker, the man he despised as much as he hated Scar. Tucker was standing next to his chimera-fied daughter. He was a chimera too. His raspy voice made Ed have chills run down his spine. His upside down face with ears seemed to be more horrifying that he remembered.

"It's your fault I'm like this. You could make me the most adorable toys, but you couldn't even fix me," Trisha gasped out with blood spurting out of her mouth. She coughed out some more blood before her eyes closed and she stopped shuddering.

"Big brother, you couldn't save me. You didn't even try," the Nina/Alexander chimera crooned.

"I-I co-couldn't h-have done..." Ed said softly, staring in horror at the twisted chimeras shape. No matter how he tried, he couldn't tear his eyes from the chimera's hair covered eyes. They were pleading at him to play the first time he met the chimera. This time, they full of rage. Finally he managed to look away from Nina's accusing stare.

"Brother, it's your fault. You made me like this. I didn't want to do the human transmutation on mother. You made me. And you made me like this," Al accused glaring darkly. Al took a step forward and towered over Ed. "I didn't want to be in this armor. It's your fault. It's all your fault! Everything is your fault!"

"It's because of people like you that Ishbal was destroyed, you dog of the military," Scar said calmly and lethally stepping out of the shadows. His red eyes seemed to burn with hatred and fire that even Mustang couldn't compare to. His half shadow covered face made him look all the more menacing. "I'll give you a moment to say your prayers before I kill both you and your brother."

"You idiot!" Ed turned around. Perhaps this was the only sane person. It was Winry. Holding a giant wrench. "You never let me and Granny Pinako in on any of you and Al's adventures. You idiot! It's your fault that Barry the Chopper kidnapped me. It's the military's fault that my parents died! You're part of the military, so you deserve to DIE!"

There was a scratching sound behind him. Ed turned around. He saw the homunculi. Envy, Lust, and Gluttony. 3 of the Seven Deadly Sins.

"Fullmetal. So are you strong enough to make us our Philosopher's Stone?" Lust cooed as her nails lengthened and sharpened. She caressed the nails of her left hand as she said it, creating the obvious threat.

Ed choked out a barely intelligible, "Noo…" _It can't be..._

"What was that? A no? Well, in that case, Fullmetal Pipsqueak, prepare to die!" Envy lunged at Ed. Gluttony took a step forward, with a crazed look in his eyes.

"Hungry…hungry…HUNGRY!" Gluttony ran forward with amazing agility for one so plump and took a large bite out of Ed's left arm. Ed inhaled to let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"Argh!" Ed gasped as he woke up…sopping wet.

"Sorry mate, but you looked like you were having a fit in bed," a boy with flaming red hair apologized. Ed's brain informed him it was Ron. He had a large pitcher of water under his arm, which explained why Ed was wet to the bone. That magical pitcher was practically endless. Ron must have just turned it over on Ed.

"Nightmare?" the boy next to him, black messy hair and green eyes, asked visibly worried about one of his only friends.

Ed nodded, unable to say anything else. The dream had been too real. He missed Al.

"Might as well stay up. Breakfast starts in 15 minutes," Ron said glancing at his watch.

"You feeling better?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, loads," Ed answered as he dug himself back in bed. This day wasn't starting out very well. Plus, the bed was unusually uncomfortable, being sopping wet.

"So what _is_ Amestris?" Ron asked, finally giving into the urge from yesterday.

"It's a place, just wait for History of Magic," Ed mumbled, finally finding a comfortable position to snuggle in.

"I think Professor Mustang said we had it tomorrow, right?" Harry said, kind of disappointed.

Ed groaned. Great. He'd have to deal with Colonel Bastard soon.

"How come you don't like him?" Harry asked. "He's a teacher at your school, right?"

"He's a bastard," Ed said. He yawned and he clapped his hands and placed it on his pillow to evaporate the water and snuggled.

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed. He examined the bed sheets to find it quite dry."Is that alchemy?"

"No, it was wandless magic," Ed said sarcastically. "Of course it's alchemy."

"Jeez, cranky much?" Ron muttered as Harry laughed.

"So how come you don't like Professor Mustang? Don't say he's a bastard," Harry asked.

"Because he's a pile of shit. Good enough for you?" Ed said, falling into a light snooze again.

Ron shrugged at Harry with a look that plainly said _He's bloody weird!_

"I saw that," Ed muttered, an eye opened angrily.

"You might want to get up, breakfast starts soon," Ron yawned as he fastened his robe.

Ed's brow creased slightly and you could practically hear him wondering, _Do I want sleep...or food...sleep...foood..._

Ron stifled a snigger as Ed looked more and more confused.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?"

"Nothing nothing," Ron said hastily as Naruto gave an earth-shattering snore. Ed reckoned it couldn't actually wake up Colonel Bastard...and that dude was famous for sleeping in...and then promptly getting lectured and shot at by Hawkeye.

"You better not," Ed muttered darkly.

"Sha...oooo," Naruto muttered unintelligably as he tossed over.

Ed glanced at him and stared. And stared. And stared. Naruto was wearing a walrus-resembling cap. It had the teeth, buggy eyes, everything. And strangely enough, Naruto didn't seem to mind it at all...

_Maybe he traded wearing that hat for something important. After all no one in their right mind would wear that...Of course, Naruto didn't look very much in his right mind..._

"Breakfast starts soon," Harry reminded him again.

_Ribbit...Croak..Ribbit. _

"AAAAAAGH!"

Harry spun around to look for the source of the sound of the roar, and found Gamakichi II clinging for his dear life across Naruto's face. Gamakichi II's limbs were stretched down to the last bit of stretchiness they had in them.

"GAMAKICHI!!" Naruto roared. He grabbed ahold of Gamakichi's body with his index finger and thumb and plucked him off. "That was NOT nice!"

_...Croak._

Dean, Seamas, and Neville, meanwhile, were laughing. Even Trevor the other frog seemed to be croaking out laughter in his own froggy way.

The red frog Gamakichi jumped out of the way and promptly jumped on to the table besides Naruto's head. _Jump, jump jump. _The six boys watched curiously as Gamakichi jumped. He was enjoying the attention. He finally stopped jumping as he reached Edward's head. The only boy that ignored the waking up of Naruto. Gamakichi shifted himself so that he was nice and comfortable and extended the very tip of his tongue out of his mouth.

A little longer...

It continued to stretch...

And in an attempt to make it go out as long as it could, it hit Ed's hair making the boy jump about three feet, which is to say...more than he is tall.

"KEEP YOUR STUPID FROG UNDER YOUR CONTROL, NARUTO!" Ed yelled. He made a lunge at Gamakichi, but he was too slow. Gamakichi was smarter than he looked at least, he jumped up and out of the way, and landed on Ed's head. He immediately hopped off and used all the froggy muscles he had to jump away from Ed.

"Run...er...Jump Gama-chan, jump!" Naruto cheered.

Ed growled under his breath, threw back his blankets and leapt up to chase after Gamakichi all over the room. It would've looked quite comical had there not been Ed's clearly furious expression.

Within minutes, the room was nearly completely demolished. The white sheets that formerly were on the boy's beds were ripped off and flung across the room so it made one large pile of sheets. The red blankets were piled up in a messy pile and spread across the entire room, as a good brake for Ed; he tripped over them so many times, he felt compelled to rip them to shreds, although he went back to the more important thing: finding and possibly killing, Gamakichi. Chairs were tossed and some were even cracked, from the sudden pressure Ed gave when he landed on the chair, trying to imitate Gamakichi...and needless to say, unsuccessfully. There were drawers that were hastily opened when Ed tried to look for Gamakichi in them, before rememberng that frogs did not have opposable thumbs. Those never-ending pitches of water were knocked over, filling one of the drawers with water. Gamakichi stood there, on top of one of the clumps of sopping, soggy socks.

"I hate you," a voice muttered from through the tangle of bedsheets. Ed's face poked out of the lump and glared up at the frog.

Gamakichi blinked once, and his mouth curled up to make a smirk. All of a sudden, Ed had the weird feeling that Gamakichi must've been channeling some energy from Mustang.

Behind them, 5 red-faced boys were laughing as hard as they could. In fact, Naruto even keeled over and somehow ended up on his back, rocking up and down like an over-turned turtle.

If it wasn't for the fact that the rooms were all sound proofed, Harry was sure that the entire house would be attracted to loud...er, crashes, that Gamakichi the frog caused Edward, a human, and an alchemist at that, to make.

* * *

The Ravenclaws didn't have much better of a morning. Mostly due to Neji. Shikamaru's enthusiasm, or lack thereof, to help the other Ravenclaws didn't help much.

Neji was sitting criss cross applesauce, Indian style, agura, whichever one you prefer, on his bed. The deep blue bedspread with bronze trimmings were without a wrinkle or crease, if you don't count Neji's weight on it. And Neji was meditating. _In, out, in, out. _All was right...except for _that_.

_Prod_. _Poke. _Neji's eye twitched. _Poke_. His fist clenched and unclenched. He was agitated. That stupid eleven year old boy.

_Poke_. Neji's hand whipped from it's folded position and grabbed at the hand before the boy even saw it move. And if that wasn't enough, Neji strengthened his grip which caused the boy to yelp in pain. Neji's head turned ever slowly, a cold glare stared straight at the unfortunate boy. He whimpered again.

The boy paled until he reminded Neji of the ghosts that happened to float in this very school.

"You will not do that again, unless you wish to lose this arm and any other limbs my Kaiten happens to hit," Neji stated coolly.

"F-f-fine," the boy, Eric, he said, clearly scared.

"Don't break his arm, it'll be troublesome," Shikamaru muttered, lying on the edge of the window, looking at the clouds. _Oh look, there's an angry Temari, and there's another one..and another one...maybe there'll be strong winds today..._

"He's annoying," Neji hissed.

"It'll still be troublesome."

"...Lazy ass," Neji growled.

"I still bet you're blind," Eric muttered under his breath, too low for anyone except a ninja to hear...Too bad that the person he was up against was a ninja.

"What was that?" Neji said coolly, getting into the position of the Kaiten and activating his Byakugun.

"...er...Nothing?" Eric asked hopefully, a little hysteria getting into his voice.

"Neji, what do you think Hiashi would say if you managed to destroy the tower and killed a kid here? Not very good for the great Hyuuga legend, eh?" Shikamaru said, looking stern for the first time.

"Tch," Neji let go finally. But he practically threw him at the wall, his back colliding with it with a sickening _crunch_. Neji didn't seem the least bit satisified with this punishment and proceeded to walk out the dormitory.

Eric groaned in pain as he sat gingerly and avoided the wall touching his back like it was Neji himself. He rubbed his lower right arm, where five distinct bruises were already forming.

"Is he gone?" Terry Boot whispered timidly. He stuck his head out from his spot huddled with the other Ravenclaw boys.

"NO," Neji growled from the common room. "And Shikamaru, go talk to your girlfriend, she's stomping her way here."

"You have a girlfriend already?" one of the boys said in awe. "Who? Which one? Is it that pink-haired girl?"

"Of course it's the pink-haired girl, who else could it be? The only other girl is that scary blonde one in Slytherin. And Slytherin's don't date out of house."

"Really why not?" Shikamaru asked, not really interested.

"Because, they're a bunch of snot-nosed, spoiled brats, who'd go to Daddy for anything they need," a Ravenclaw said, with an air of distaste.

"Hm, sounds like Temari," Shikamaru said, closing his eyes, _if she had a dad that didn't try to kill her oh so lovely brother_.

"She's coming in...5...4...3...2...1."

"LET ME IN! OR I'LL BLOW YOU DOWN," could be heard coming from outside.

The phoenix obliged and opened the door.

"Neji, where's - Shika-kuuuun!" Temari squealed as she caught sight of Shikamaru.

"Yo."

"Shiiiikaaaa, can I _please_ kill Sasuke? Or maybe that Cody kid?" Temari said sweetly.

"No, since I'm the only Chuunin here, I'll be blamed for everything, and that would be troublesome," Shikmaru said.

"We can blame it on Jiraiya-sensei," Temari pointed out.

Shikamaru pondered it, for a bit, and said, "No. It'd also be troublesome if they found carcasses of two students with no sign of magic. No doubt they would blame it on us, or as you say Jiraiya-sama. And if that happens, war."

"But we're already in war with Sound," Temari pointed out again. "I won't harm a hair on that Cody kid's head, happy?"

"...Yes," Shikamaru said, deciding it was too troublesome to argue with her. She always won anyway.

"Unfair bastard," Neji muttered.

A sixth year chose that time to come downstairs and see what all the racket was about. He stumbled down the navy blue stairs to find a blonde girl with four pigtails and an odd outfit that included _fishnet tights_ at places and a dress...in other words, the new transfer SLYTHERIN, in the room. All of a sudden, his eyes widened and he became more alert.

"What is IT doing here?" he roared.

"It is down here because IT is visiting her boyfriend, you gotta problem with it?" Temari asked pointedly, glaring at the poor freaked out boy.

"But...but...Slytherins don't date out of house!" the boy stuttered, repeating the first years' words.

"Well too bad, because I do, and I won't give Shika-kun up for anything," Temari said, hugging Shikamaru's neck.

"How troublesome," Shikamaru sighed.

Neji deactivated his Byakugun and looked away while Temari was doing that, to prevent himself from keeling over and start laughing. Imagine, one of the three Sand Siblings who nearly destroyed Konoha, here, snuggling up with one of the laziest bastards in Konoha, no, ninja, history.

That would be very un-Hyuuga like. Yes it would.

* * *

Sasuke opened his red eyes, he kept his Sharingan on now (you could never know where or what Orochimaru might be planning) to see a dull gray rocky ceiling, not unlike the one at Orochimaru's lair. Both rooms were lit dully by candle light, and they just so happened to flicker so you could see every nook and cranny in the cracks of the rocks. Well, only people with Sharingan's and Byakugan's would be able to, bring the grand total to a whopping 21, where only 2 of them were at the school...not that it mattered at all, Sasuke mused silently, cursing Orochimaru for sending him here. Here with the stench of snot-nosed brats.

The stench of those snot-nosed brats was exactly what kept him at a light sleep the entire night. He was trained to the smell of ninja. So trained only to the smell of ninja blood, blood that had been spilled 100 times over, blood that thirsted for blood. Just as he thirsted for blood. The sweet, husky, smell of blood that drew to him more than any female could. The sharp tang, rusty taste that blood had washed over his tongue. He could just hear the screams of those that he killed, his katana sliding smoothly through each cut that he made, each man he killed, begging for mercy. The warm familiar feeling of the blood dripping down, thick and rich down his hand. The rich red stain it made on his shirt, on the ground, everywhere.

_Snore!_ Sasuke clicked his tongue in annoyance as he heard that. It ruined the great moment he was having. He closed his eyes again, feeling like the Sharingan was perfect for him, blood red, spinning, and mystifying. He didn't need the Mangekyou, the regular Sharingan was enough to defeat Itachi.

Sasuke snapped his eyes opened as he felt someone's gaze upon him. It took him less than a second to figure out that it was Cody.

Cody whistled, "So Dante was serious when she said that you guys were _reaallly _sensitive with 6th senses and all that sorta freaky crap."

"I suggest to you that you should hurry up and go away before I kill you," Sasuke said, closing his eyes again.

"Well, I'll have to tell you that we don't die that easily," Cody smirked back.

"I know. You guys are immortal and can immediately regenerate, and that bullshit."

Cody eyes widened as he heard that and let out a bark of laughter that promptly prompted Goyle to let out an earth shattering snore.

"Woow! Dante told us all that you ninjas were good, but I didn't expect you to learn about that! Especially since none of us had gotten hurt and nobody mentioned that even once!" Cody said gleefully aware that if Sasuke had found about this, then the others would too. Of course, that would make this more interesting, how wonderful for him and Envy.

"We also know how to kill you already, and believe me, I wouldn't mind to."

"But how? Even I don't know...besides that one involving alchemy that I'm sure you can't do," Cody said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, now I have something to hold above you."

"Fine, be like that, why don't you," Cody said, finally acting like the twelve year old he was. He stuck out his tongue for good measure. "I'll just ask Envy what the hell you're talking about."

"Hn."

Cody, who hadn't been able to understand the different meanings of Sasuke's 'Hn's', took it as a bluff and smirked as Draco woke up muttering unintelligibly.

"Goo' mornin'" Draco yawned as he muttered that. His usually gelled smooth platinum blond hair, which sometimes bore resemblance to Ino and Deidara's (who have got to be twins!) hair, was frizzy, pointing in every direction, and absolutely nothing like it was during the day.

"Hn."

"Morning!" Cody said brightly, making Sasuke and Draco wonder how the hell he got into Slytherin, especially including the fact that most Slytherins were sullen, high-class (and emo!) people.

Cody just grinned brighter, guessing correctly why Draco had such a confused look on his face. Draco just shook his head to get all those crazy thoughts of the Sorting Hat finally getting something wrong out of his mind and started putting on his robes. Sasuke glanced at the robes that were set at the foot of his bed before turning away and sniffing with annoyance. Sure they were nice and black, but really, they were even gayer than the ones he had to wear with Orochimaru...and that was saying something.

Sasuke decided not to wear hjis new disgusting new uniform and opted for the old outfit he wore when he was in cell 7 with those two blundering, weaklings that weren't fit to be called ninja in the loosest sense of the word. He had the feeling that the fool called Dumbledore wouldn't like it if he wore an outfit involving an open chest too...Sasuke smirked. How nostalgic for those two fools he used to call team mates. He subconsciously remembered that Gryffindor had a lot of similar classes with Slytherin Sasuke mused silently how long it would take before the two of them cracked and got into trouble...no, no, that wouldn't work. Shinobi did not to sink to that low of standrads. He'd much rather go with mental ones, like forcing them to remember the 'bonds' they had built as genins together, and of those bonds he broke in a single day. It made him giddy with pleasure, not that a single ounce of it overflowed on to his face and expression.

He ignored that spoiled Malfoy brat as said brat wondered aloud if he was even allowed to wear it. He obviously cared up keeping up that winning streak of that worthless House Cup or whatever it was called. Sasuke barely heard Cody say that it was only required for the students to have it as supplies, but it wasn't required to be worn.

Draco still looked a bit nervous, but shrugged it off. He proceeded down the stairs as soon as he was finished dressing and was almost immediately ambushed by a certain ugly pug named Pansy Parkinson.

"Dracooo!" Pansy exclaimed happily as she immediately latched onto Malfoy.

"Hello Pansy," Draco said, equally eager to see his friend, and soon to be girlfriend.

Sasuke strolled down the stairs, with the high aristocracy that he had, head held high and observing those weak prideful fools.

He caught sight of the Parkinson girl for the first time, and noticed how much she looked like a dog. And a bull dog at that. A breed of dog hat even the Inzuka clan wouldn't use, nor any of the other dog using clans around the Five Ninja Villages. Perfect for her. She and Malfoy were just perfect for each other.

Jealous.

Prideful.

Lazy.

Wrathful.

Greedy.

And most of all, lower than even a certain Uzumaki Naruto.

Sasuke turned to walk to the wide expanse of stone gray wall where a door occupied. The edges were adorned with slim green and silver snakes carved from the stone. He walked out the door and up the stairs to get to the Great Hall where students were already starting to trickle in. Some of the older SLytherins were already at the table, sharing answers to the homework from over the summer and gossip about the latest celebrities. Petty things that were just plain annoying.

Sasuke looked up as he smelled and more importantly, _heard_ someone that was very familiar. He smirked. Naruto and Sakura came through the double doors with that Fullmetal kid. The two ninja had identical shocked looks as they saw Sasuke. Naruto glared slightly before turning away and chattering noisely as he pulled Sakura, who was still staring in shock at Sasuke, to the Gryffindor table. But the Fullmetal kid must've been smarter than Cody said. He noticed the glare that lasted less than a millisecond. Well, then again, he must've been a prodigy to be able to make the new record for being the youngest State Alchemist, shaving off nearly half of the previous record, at least according to Cody. And speak of the devil (almost literally!), Cody showed up.

He strut to the Slytherin table. Along the wakl, he passed the Gryffindors and gave a sadistic smile to Fullmetal. Ed tactfully ignored it and continued with inhaling his food, being careful to inhale _around_ any white liquid substance, namely, milk.

"Fullmetal!" Wrath called out. "You haven't met my friend Sasuke yet have you?"

Ed did not react, he was much too busy with inhaling food, and trying his best to ignore Wrath...or Cody...or whatever his name was.

"I'm sure you know him, shinobi," Wrath went on. "he's told me so much about you guys. Especially you, Naruto. Like how you were his best friend."

"You don't know Sasuke-teme!" Naruto roared, attracting the attention of some others nearby. And by some, I mean everyone in the Great Hall.

Sasuke would've snorted, had he not been the Mr. Expressionless-Freak. Only Naruto could defend and insult someone in the same breath.

"He also told me how a certain five people nearly died trying to get him back to Konoha," Cody continued saying each word with a gloating tone and savoring Naruto's furious expression.

"Shut up. I might not know what the hell you guys are talking about and who the hell Sasuke is, but I do know that if Sasuke's your friend, he's my enemy. And I'll back Naruto on everything does to get him to come to his senses. Especially if it means banging his head against something like Al's armor.

Mustang grinned from his spot on the teacher's table. There was the Fullmetal Alchemist that he knew and usually hated. But nevertheless, he enjoyed having the reckless, idiotic Fullmetal back, rather than the skeptical and paranoid one. Wait...if the reckless annoying one came back...coupled with the fact that he was learning magic, that would mean pranks to no end. Mustang shivered slightly, a surprisingly not so rare occurance considering that Hawkeye was part of his squad.

"Cocky, aren't you Fullmetal," Sasuke said, for the first time.

"Well considering how strong you look, I'd have to say, I have a right to be. I can beat you with both hands tied behind my back," Ed shot back.

"Are you so sure about that?" Sasuke hissed, not being one to get riled up easily.

"I know so."

Sasuke slipped his katana out of the scabbard and moved behind Ed in quick fluid motion, faster than Ed could see. But Ed was prepared for it, and clapped his hands at about the same speed. Sasuke took less than a second's reaction time to react. The result? A Sasuke that was pushed up and back by a very odd looking piece of rock, poking out of the ground. Ed received a heavy blow in his back with a small nick on his neck. Nothing he would die from...hopefully.

Mustang snapped. A great big fire blew up. It was, to Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, and every other ninja present, a great surprise as well. It was even bigger than the Uchiha clan's great Goukakyuu no jutsu! Sasuke 'tch'ed' appearing unimpressed and slid his katana back into the scabbard. Ed grumbled under his breath about something that sounded oddly like about a bastard colonel.

"Ed, you know better than that. Sasuke, aren't ninja supposed to be well trained and not so easily goaded? Control yourself," Mustang reprimanded, as he would with his own officers.

McGonagall pursed her lips as Mustang showed no sign whatsoever of setting a punishment.

"Mustang, is that really enough? Shouldn't there be a consequence?"

"Well, I'm sure these two don't care a rat's ass about the house points and will ignore whatever punishment they get. Well, Ed least, but feel free to do whatever you want."

"I thought militaries had low tolerance for misbehavior," McGonagall said, with a slight air or astonishment. "Well, very well, 50 points off your ouse points, each and a month of detention."

"Eh," Ed said, as he sat down and went back to his food inahling.

Sasuke looked ticked but new that Orochimaru wouldn not like it if one of the teachers 'accidentally' disappeared and if he returned without the stone. _Hmm, that Fullmetal kid wasn't _that_ bad_ Sasuke mused. _But he still had a long way to go before he could be on par with any ninja._

Naruto, on the other hand, was being Naruto, and thus, he was absolutely gushing about the alchemy.

"It was absolutely awesome! Nearly as good as the Kage Bunshin, or, or, or, the Orioke no-!" Naruto said promptly being punched across the room by Sakura.

"YOU PERVERTED IDIOT!" Sakura roared. _**Fight! Fight! FIGHT!** _Inner cheered.

Someone squealed in fright as

"S-s-shorry, Shakuraaaa," Naruto mumbled, "Oohhh, I shee pre'y lighshhh..."

"...He's not waking up..." Neji said, being the closest to the idiot.

"...I'm thinking that that's not good...right?" Ed said, peering at the unconscious boy. Ed lifted his foot slightly behind him, his _left_ foot mind you, and gave a skull-bashing, bone-crunching, eardrums-cracking loud kick.

Naruto rolled over so fast, he was a yellow and orange blur. A _bright_ yellow and orange blur. Not the best color clash.

"Hey, Ed?"

"Two things. One, do you happen to have any ninja blood in you, because that was an AWESOME kick," Sakura gushed, "And two, I think you broke Naruto..."

"...I take it that's not a good thing...?"

"Well, considering the fact that Naruto's probably going to be our next Hokage, no, not really," Shikamaru said, "This is troublesome."

"Stop saying things are troublesome, Shika-kun," Temari thwacked Shikamaru with her fan, "You're really unmotivated."

"Am I in deep shit?" Ed asked, ignoring the couple-yness of Temari and Shikamaru.

"Yes, yes you are, unless you can somehow wake him up," Sakura said, trying to wake him up.

"Hmm," Ed said. Naruto gave a loud snort, "Well there we go, he's alive. Not waking up but he's alive."

"As if that's any better," Neji snorted, approaching his partners and Ed, "Although I suppose him being unconscious is better than him being awake...and loud...and annoying."

"So there, I did you guys all a favor so- Ooh look! I see some waffles!" Ed drooled slightly as he ran at full speed, which was surprisingly fast compared to the wizards' speed, not so much to the ninja, and immediately completely _drenching_ his waffles in syrup.

"So, do we just leave him here?" Sakura asked uncertainly, prodding Naruto's head with her toe. That caused a light bump on his head.

"Yeah, it's not like anyone cares," Neji said nonchalantly, as he strolled back to his table.

Sakura also went back to her table.

And so, Naruto lay there forgotten.

* * *

"How troubleso-" _THAWK_.

"Shikamaru! Don't ever say the words 'How troublesome' again!" Temari scolded, whacking him with her fan case. Her very heavy fan case.

"What an annoying woman," Shikamaru muttered under his breath. Temari tactuflly pretended she didn't hear it.

_THWAK_.

Kind of. And another bruise on his head. Oh joy.

"Ed...I hate youuu," Naruto moaned and groaned, cradling his poor abused head in his arms.

"Oh, put a sock in it," Ed grumbled, although he was starting to feel a tiny teeny bitty guilty.

Oh wait. That was just his hunger acting up again.

"So...what's our first class?" Sakura asked a bit uncertainly, glancing around at the unfamiliar stone walls and floors.

"Charms," Shikamaru said lazily.

"...And where is that? Neji could you....where is he?" Sakura turned a 360 to look for him. And there he was! Nowhere to be seen.

"In Charms." Oh...that explained it.

"And where would that be?" Naruto asked.

"Wherever Neji happens to be."

"...And where would that be...?"

"In the Charms room."

"You're no help, you know that Shikamaru?"

"Yes, I do know that, Edward."

"How nice," Ed said sarcastically.

"Now, if I understood that conversation correctly," Naruto said, brows furrowed, "Let me get this straight...so we're lost?"

"Pretty much. Wow, maybe you knocked some sense into him," Shikamaru said, eyebrow raised.

"Well never fear! For the GREAT UZUMAKI NARUTO IS HERE!" Naruto cheered. "Now follow me! It's this way!"

"Never mind. He's lost it again." Shikamaru sighed.

"Should you tell him that it's the other way?" Sakura whispered, looking at the map that Neji to made last night. It was amazing how Neji made it so intricate, down to the last crack on the floor. What was even more miraculous was that Shikamaru had even gotten the strength to goad Neji into making it.

"Nah, let him get lost, it teaches him to follow me instead."

"How nice of you," Ed said sarcastically.

"You really like sarcasm a lot, don't you?"

"Yes, yes I do."

And so, once again, Naruto was left wandering the halls alone, and forgotten.

* * *

"You guys decided to take your time," Neji said.

"Well sorry if some of us doesn't have a Byakugun like you do," Temari countered.

"I made you guys a map, _each_," Neji said.

"Only because Shika-kun made you make it."

"I still made it. Oh by the way, Shikamaru, even though we've got my Byakugun and each of us has sensitive...senses, but the staircases move in case you didn't know, and the portraits talk and notice us. You're going to have to enchant the maps to make sure that they can predict or move as the stairs move. And we can just get that perverted invisiblity jutsu that Jiraiya created from him," Neji said.

"I can guarantee that in...a week. It'll take time to find the spell."

"Why do you guys need to know that?" Ed asked confused.

"We tend to explore the castle and the surroundings, ah, outside of regular hours, if you know what I mean," Temari smirked.

"And what the hell is a Biakugen?"

"Byakugun, you just butchered the finest of all _kekkei genkai_ of the Village Hidden in the Leaves." Neji spat.

"So...again, what is it?"

"It's a _kekkei genkai_."

"You guys must reaaally like being vague about stuff," Ed said.

"Perhaps it's because we don't want you to know. A ninja relies on their secrets to win. Nobody flaunts their powers."

Just then, _two _Narutos popped in, made a strange handsign, and poofed into smoke.

"...What was that...?" Ed asked, kind of scared of what was going. Really! It wasn't even remotely following the rules of equavalent exchange.

"Let me rephrase me earlier sentence. No ninja flaunts their powers, besides Naruto, who is a ginormous idiot," Sakura sighed. "That's the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, it makes clones, and whenever he dispells one of them, all the knowledge it gained is transferred back to him."

Moments later, Naruto arrived jumped into the room.

"THE GREAT UZUMAKI NARUTO IS HERE!"

"It's Naruto Uzumaki, idiot."

"Do you not know my name?????!!!?" Naruto exclaimed. "It's Uzumaki, as in whirlpool, and Naruto, as in fish paste."

"I know, I know, but they reverse their names here," Shikamaru said, as Ed roared out with laughter at the second part of Naruto's name.

"OOOOOOhhh. So then, ....uhh, I got it. THE GREAT OTURAN IKAMUZU IS HERE!"

"............"

"Whaat?"

"They just reverse the order of the names, not the letters." Shikamaru said.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Temari rolled her eyes.

"Can I try again?"

"No." Neji said.

"Bu-"

"No."

"Bu-"

"No. AND SHUT UP," Neji said, a vein popping.

"Fine, be like that, but remember, I'm stronger than you! I beat you in the Chuunin exaaaams!" Naruto sang.

Neji's eye twitched and Shikamaru had to use his Kagemane to stop Neji from attacking Naruto.

"You're just jealous. I'm not surprised," Naruto said, pretending to be haughty. Ed noticed the other students backing away slowly and decided that it was safest to do that.

Shikamaru sighed and hung his head, causing Neji to do the same.

"Oi, lazy boy, I have to do it too!" Neji growled to his chest.

"Don't talk like Shikamaru like that!" Temari_ tapped_ Neji with her fan...quite hard actually.

"Ow!" Neji and Shikamaru exclaimed at the same time.

"You know I have to feel what he does too!" Shikamaru exclaimed angrily. In a lazy manner. Somehow. He always did manage to do the impossible.

"Yes," Temari said blankly, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Hey, Sakura?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

"Hm?"

"Is it okay if Temari nearly kills Shikamaru like that?"

"Oh of course! You should see back home, where we won't get in _that _much trouble if we break something...ah, a couple of somethings," Sakura said cheerfully.

"..."

"I'm scaring you aren't I?"

"Kinda," Hermione admitted.

"Oh, well sorry," Sakura said sheepishly.

"Ha ha, Shikamaru! You totally got your ass kicked by a _girl_!" Naruto laughed.

"Settle down now kids," a squeakly little voice declared from under the podium.

"AAAHHH! The podium is haunted!" Naruto yelped, losing his footing and falling back.

"Baka," Neji muttered under his breath.

"I resent that! I'm not a ghost! I'm your teacher, Filius Flitwick," a small man walked out from behind the podium.

He grabbed a stack of books off his stool and disappeared behind the podium again. In a couple minutes where you could hear dull and soft _thunks_, he popped up above the podium, just barely reaching the top. The class sweatdropped as they realized what their teacher was doing: stacking books behind the podium so he could see the class.

"Before I start anything, I'd like to call roll," Flitwick squeaked out. "Mandy Brocklehurst..."

Shikamaru stared lazily out the window. Ahh, how he wished to be outside doing nothing more than lying on the soft, cool grass and stare into the sky and at the clouds. Those puffy white clouds that were much nicer than Temari ever was and would never hit him the way that Temari does.

"Eep!" Flitwick squeaked as he got to Ed's name.

"...did you just squeak...?" Ed asked.

"You're Hohenheim's son!"

"I know that. And I really wish I wasn't, that bastard," Ed muttered.

Sakura looked downcast for a second. Sasuke had taught her how much it hurt not having parents. There was nobody to scold you, but nobody to hug you and comfort you. That might have been one reason why Sasuke had left, he desperately wanted someone that cared for him, even if it was just to use him. But nevertheless, Ed shouldn't act like that, even if he did hate his father. They still were blood and they still cared for each other.

Flitwick continued with the roll call.

"So, Charms is about, as the name implies, charming something. This year, we will learn various things, including levitating, during the earlier months, and even to as we go along the years, we will be learning more difficult charms, including Banishing. Today, we will begin with a few simple wand movements..."

* * *

"Well that was a useless class," Naruto yawned as they walked out of the class room. Shikamaru and Neji went the other way to get to their

"Naruto!" Sakura scolded, "It's just because we're all beginners at magic. Once we really get into it, we'll be able to learn amazing charms and such. I can't wait until we learn some medical spells. I'll be able to heal you guys up using only a fraction of the regular amount of chakra!"

Shikamaru sighed. If Sakura got too attatched to this school, that would mean trouble. Especially when you factor in the fact that she had inherited Tsunade's super strength.

"So...is she always this energetic..?" Ed asked. He couldn't believe anyone could be this energetic about learning. He had unfortunately developed a hate for learning after a year with Izumi, and her death trainings. Ed shivered.

"Yeah, it scares me sometimes," Naruto shivered, recovering from a blow that Sakura gave him.

"Jiraiya-sama is teaching our next class," Sakura muttered, somewhat dejectedly.

"Jiraiya!" Temari scowled. "Last time, the only time he'll ever get, he went to Suna, I had to forcefully shove him out the girl's baths. Gaara naerly killed him after. Apparently he has as much tolerance about peeping toms as Tsunade does. Too bad for Jiraiya both of them are so strong. Although, it might be becasue Tsunade's fist can penetrate his sand, that he did that."

"Really?" Sakura asked astounded. She remembered when Sasuke went through the wall of sand, but that was with a hand full of chakra. "Tsunade-sama is amazing!"

"Who is? This Sunadeisama" Harry said, finally asking. Sakura was mentioning this person all day, and curiousity finally got the better of him.

Sakura frowned as she heard Harry's butchered version of Tsunade's name.

"Not Sunadeisama, it's Tsunade," she said slowly, as if talking to a toddler, "-sama is just a honorific meaning someone of a higher rank. She's the most wonderfulest person in the world! She's the top medic nin in the Hidden Villages, and I'm her apprentice."

"Well, to me she's just old Baa-san," Naruto said. Sakura's eyes narrowed and gave Naruto a loud punch in the jaw.

"Don't talk about her like that!"

"I call Jiraiya Ero-sennin too!" Naruto stuck his tongue out of his sore mouth, "He doesn't care."

"Of course I care!" Jiraiya roared from the doorway. "Haven't I told you a thousand times not to call me that?"

"...I don't seem to remember," Naruto said, a small smirk dancing on his lip. It was so small not even Jiraiya noticed it.

"Baka!" Jiraiya growled.

Naruto folded his arms and blew a raspberry at Jiraiya.

"Kami, the things I do for Tsunade," Jiraiya muttered under his breath, rubbing his temples. He muttered much quieter "I need to talk to you after class." under the chucklings of the shinobi.

Even Naruto understood that he shouldn't just shout out anything about it.

The blaring bell rang signaling the tardy bell and Jiraiya glanced at the roll to make sure no one was late.

"So, your first Defense Against the Dark Arts. You must all be excited, huh?" Jiraiya said cheerily with a clap of his hands. "Well, as my apprentice Naruto would know, my lessons aren't easy at all. They'll be hard, and I'll be teaching differently than the previous teachers. As a ninja, we strive to keep ourselves physically fit, unlike you wizards and witches. This is because your magic is the raw form of our chakra. If you are physically and learn how to mix your will and your magic together, you can quite possibly be able to make your spells much stronger than if you just input magic," Jiraiya said.

Sakura acted as if this wasn't new to her at all, in which case it wasn't. For Naruto however...

"NANI!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Shut up!" Jiraiya yelled. He had a very long night last night. It was bad enough that all the bathrooms in the school all had charms on them so that no one of the opposite gender could go in. What was worse was that said charm forcefully shoved anyone who wrongly entered out of each of the bathrooms by using some weird force of wind, that was weaker than Temari's but still, nevertheless, strong. He found out, after looking through each of the bathrooms on each of the floors, by the way, there were exactly 79 girls bathrooms, the only one that allowed males was the one with Moaning Myrtle in it. And needless to say, Jiraiya was desparate, but not _that_ desperate. Nobody was.

And so, needless to say, he was cranky.

"So you're making us exercise...?" Ron asked in horror. He had heard of these stories of those Muggles having to exercise and having to take physical education as a requirement in school, but he wasn't a Muggle! He shouldn't be forced to go through this!

"Yes, that's what I'm saying!" Jiraiya said in a serious manner. One of the few times he ever was. "You're lucky. You're starting from your first year unlike the other years especially the seventh years. They'll have to start exercising after at least seven years of not caring how physically fit they are."

"Bu-bu-but..." an especially whiny Hufflepuffian, Daniel, well, whined.

"I do not tolerate laziness. I am the teacher here, if you don't want to learn, fine by me, but if you end up dying because your shielding charm wasn't strong enough, or because your disarming charm hadn't had enough power in it, don't blame me," Jiraiya said coldly. "If you don't like the way I'm teaching, why don't you just leave."

Daniel whimpered a bit before falling silent.

"That's what I thought, anyone else, if you think you're too good for my class, go right along and leave the classroom," Jiraiya said.

"All right!" Naruto cheered, and made a move to leave, but Sakura grabbed the neck of his jacket.

"Don't be an idiot!"

"But it's just exercising! We got enough of that in the Academy!" Naruto pouted.

"...Naruto?" Jiraiya asked in a sneaky manner, "Remember the last time you didn't listen to me?"

Naruto paled, shut his mouth up, and sat back into his seat. It made all the other students wonder what the hell Jiraiya's teaching methods were.

"So, since many of you haven't been exercising in quite a while, we'll start it slow," Jiraiya cheerily, having no sign that he was furious minutes ago. No, seconds ago.

"We'll start with a single lap around the Quidditch field and 20 push-ups, and after that, 20 sit-ups. Considering how slow most of you will be, that should take about an hour. For the rest of the period, we'll be starting out with some simple spells used to defend yourself," Jiraiya said.

When nobody except the ninja moved, he roared, "Well? What are you waiting for, go on! Sakura, Naruto, help out the other students if they need help. When you're done, run 100 laps, do 200 push-ups and 300 sit-ups."

The wizards and witches gaped at that number and silently thanked God that they didn't have to do that much. They filed out the door, expecting the ninja to lead them to the who-knows-where Quidditch Field, but only the pink-haired girl stayed with them. A couple girls squealed in fright as they saw the blond, Naruto was it?, jump out the window. Harry raised his eyebrows. Surely, like those ninja movies, they would be able to fly or something of that sort. But alas, no, Naruto just fell down and with a soft _thud_ landed in the grass. Hermione gasped in fright as she leaned over the window to see how badly mangled Naruto was.

But...there was no body...Hermione looked around the bottom, and gasped when she saw Naruto up and running toward what she supposed was the Quidditch Field.

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed as he looked at the direction Hermione was looking at. "How do you think he managed that?"

Jiraiya looked up from the paper he was scrawling some weird figures on, "Why are you still here? Hurry up and get them out of here so I can go back to, er, _work_."

"Hai, Jiraiya," Sakura said grudgingly, "Isn't this supposed to be your class?"

"I'm a novelist! I have to keep up with my books!" Jiraiya snapped.

Sakura grumbled something incoherant under her breath and said aloud, "I'll make sure Tsunade-sama knows about what you're doing here."

The effect was instantaneous. Jiaiya shoved the paper out of his hands and into his desk made some weird sign and disappeared, leaving no sign, except for some dust clouds.

"He Apparated!" Ron exclaimed.

"ALL RIGHT IF YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH ME, I'M LEAVING YOU HERE," Sakura roared, ticked off at Jiraiya. She also happened to inherit Tsunade's extremely short temper. And when you've got super strength and a short temper, you tend to get what you want. And so, the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class went off to a _great_ start.

* * *

"So what is it that you wanted to tell us, Jiraiya?" Sakura asked anxiously. She didn't want to be late to Transfiguration. It seemed like one of the most interesting classes out of all of them. Plus, she was very annoyed at Jiraiya.

"I told Tsunade-sama about Sasuke being here and that Cody kid Neji told me about. Shikamaru and I thought about it last night, and we figured if Sasuke is on such good terms with Cody, then Orochimaru's bound to have some allies. Considering how well of a chance this is to get Sasuke back, Tsunade has agreed to send some more ninja over. But Naruto, we have to make getting _it_ the top priority. We need it desperately, and we need it soon." Jiraiya said.

Naruto understood how much the village needed the Stone, and nodded solemnly, although against his will.

"Gaara is willing to leave Baki in charge, as he feels he still owes Naruto a debt. Kankuro returned from his mission yesterday, and will be coming too. Well..he hasn't agreed, but Gaara said he'd make Kankurou come..." Jiraiya broke off nervously.

Sakura and Naruto didn't blame him. Gaara could be scary as hell when he wanted. Heck, he could be scarier then hell.

"Anyway, Shino will be coming, and Lee, too," Jiraiya sighed, clearly disturbed, "Tsunade's taking a gamble here, sending six of our top ninjas here, plus the Sand siblings, and plus myself but she herself, knowing how bad her luck is, it was worth the risk. So I'm saying this now, and I'm not trying to make this sound dramatic, but the future of Konoha could depend on you."

Naruto grinned and said, with the good guy pose,"Leave it to us Jiraiya-sensei!"

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of..." Jiraiya muttered, rubbing his temples as he watched Naruto and Sakura walk out the door, where Ed was waiting for those two.

_Call me paranoid, but there's something fishy going on here, why would two alchemists come here, and I know for a fact that there is now Alchemy Academy, and why would Mustang be here all of a sudden...he's definitely not a professor if they did found an Alchemy Academy_, Jiraiya thought, eyes narrowing.

* * *

"So, why was your teacher talking to you?" Ed asked curiously.

"Oh, well Tsunade-sama, something like our principal, is sending some more students here. She was being lazy, so they needed some papers cleared up first," Naruto lying smoothly.

Sakura nodded in agreement, filing this information in her mind so that she could tell Neji and Shikamaru later. Like Shikamaru would say, it would be troublesome if their stories were different.

"Gaara and Kankuro are coming. They're Temari's brothers and I think both are crazy. Gaara is psychopatic and used to kill everyone that he didn't like, which was quite a lot..." Naruto said thoughtfully...kind of, and continued with a cheery voice that Ed thought should never be used with a conversation like this, "And Kankuro...is just Kankuro, who's a nutjob. He wears black in the desert, how can he not die from that!"

Ed decided that it was best not to tell Naruto, who was continuing his rant, that black can help someone not get burnt to a crisp, as he learned after spending so long in the Ishballan area, which was all desert.

"Shino is all buggy, like literally! I think he'd kill me if I told you, and I would much rather not like to die from bugs, and Lee is also a nutjob! He keeps yellng and cheering about Youth and has these think catepillar eyebrows! I nicknamed him Fuzzy Brows, in honor of those brows," Naruto said, grinning quite proudly for some reason.

"Naruto!" Sakura scolded. Although she did agree slightly, it still wasn't nice! "Don't listen to him Ed. Well...Gaara is a bit of a psycho, but he changed and is trying not to."

Ed wisely decided to pretend not to have heard the 'trying.'

"And Kankuro, is a bit odd, and really weird I guess...but still, he's a strong fighter. Shino is buggy. Like really buggy," Sakura shivered, and caught Ed's raised eyebrow, "What? A girl can be creeped out by bugs. Anyway, Lee...Lee's weird. He's wears green spancdex and he's really obsessed with training. Like _really_ obsessed with it. Even a near death experience didn't stop him from running right into a fight that he probably would lose. But he's still very strong."

Ed raised an eyebrow as Sakura continued, "And his teacher, Maito Gai, is like a giant adult version of him! Only with bigger eyebrows! They're practically alive! He's the self-proclaimed eternal rival to another of our teachers, Hatake Kakashi."

"He sure sounds...interesting," Ed said hesitantly.

"You never want to meet him, trust me," Sakura advised.

"I figured," he replied and continued on their journey to Tranfiguration. Ed felt his throat tighten as he nervously approached the door.

There was a cat on the woody desk, with books that looked too old to be able to still be readable with a couple papers sticking out here and there as bookmarks, but that was it. No teacher, no nothing. Ed noticed Neji muttering something to Sakura under his breath. Sakura gasped and glanced at the cat quickly and muttered something back, excitedly.

Ed sighed as two boys rushed in, very loudly. They sighed in relief as they realized that the teacher was even later than they were...but there she was. McGonagall had leapt off the desk and transformed into a human. Ed watched as the hair on her face receded and paws became hands and feet. Whiskers were sucked back into her face as her limbs grew out again. Ed was forceably reminded of a chimera at that instant...And of Nina.

Ed shook his head. The two occurances were totally different. For one, McGonagall's transformation was totally her choice, she wasn't forced to like Nina, or Martel, or any of the other chimeras he happened to meet. And two, there was no pain. Absolutely none, it was all magic. Plus, chimeras couldn't transform back and forth between their human shape and their animal forms, not even complete chimeras. And finally, it was meant to happen. It was no fluke of alchemy or research toward making real chimeras. It was perfectly safe once you perfected the art of Anamagi. And even if something wrong happened, a simple wave of a wand or a single potion was all that you needed to turn right back into a human and ready for your next attempt.

...So why did it still feel so wrong?

But Ed never let a single emotion show through that mask he called a face. He clenched his jaw as McGonagall reprimanded the boys for being so late.

The boys, Harry and Ron, looked sheepish as they took their seats. Ed continued to copy the information on the board regarding the safety rules in the classroom other meaningless stuff.

"Now, Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts. Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned," McGonagall said sternly. She glanced in Ed's way. "Elric, Mustang told me about alchemy and one of it's taboo's, if you feel like you do not want to participate in our activities, please do tell me."

Ed nodded, unable to speak. She continued, "However, you must be able to pass the end of the year assessments in order to get to the next year, but if it becomes too much, I'm sure Dumbledore will allow you to drop the class."

She turned away from the class and turned the desk into a pig and back again, as demonstration for the rest of the class. Ed subconsciously gripped the edge of his desk. Neji noticed it and made a note in his mind.

* * *

_"Anybody else notice something different with Edward Elric?"_ Shikamaru asked.

_"Besides the fact that he has metal limbs?"_ Naruto asked, stuffing his face at dinner.

"_Yes, besides the fact that he has metal limbs_," Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. They were sitting at the same table, the Ravenclaw one, and were ignoring the stares that the two Gryffindors got. And especially the stares that Temari got, being a Slytherin.

_"You noticed too?" _Neji asked. _"He seemed quite jumpy during Transfiguration. He got terrified when McGonagall-san transformed into a human again."_

_"Who wouldn't be scared!? She was a freaking cat for kami's sake!"_ Naruto exclaimed, taking a short break from his eating.

_"Just because you didn't notice doesn't mean nobody else noticed," _Neji said indifferently,_ "She still had the same magic as she did before the transformation."_

_"Neji, be nicer to Naruto. I didn't know until you told me," _Sakura scolded.

_"Ha! Listen to her Neji!" _Naruto cheered.

_"Guys, stop fighting and listen for a second could you?" _Shikamaru sighed. _"Mendokuse."_

_"SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HIM!" _Temari yelled.

The three ninja shut up and immediately turned to Shikamaru.

_"The reason why he was so jumpy is obvious. He's an alchemist," _Shikmaru said simply.

_"We're not geniuses like you, Shikamaru. What do you mean when you say that explains everything?" _Sakura asked.

_"I mean that he's an alchemist from Amestris," _Shikamaru stated. When he still got blank stares in return, he sighed and said, _"Alchemists of Amestris, which are real alchemists, not those fake ones here, follow equivalent exchange. Also, when McGonagall-san was referring to a taboo, she meant that creating chimears are illegal. Don't say anything Naruto. Chimeras are any creature that has more than one set of DNA. So naturally, he panicked. He must have seen the result of a chimera."_

_"And you got all this information...out of just one class...?" _Naruto asked, bewildered.

_"Just because you don't use your brain, doesn't mean nobody else does," _Shikamaru said, using Neji's earlier expression.

_"Oh right! I just remembered," _Sakura said suddenly, _"Jiraiya-sama said, after class, that Gaara, Kankuro, Shino, and Lee were coming."_

Neji groaned. He thought he could be away from the Youth loving freak for a year. _"Why'd Lady Hokage send _him_ here?"_

_"Honestly, I think that she would've wanted to send Gai-sensei here, but since he couldn't pass as anything remotely related to this school, she decided to send the little one, hopefully silencing Gai," _Sakura said, a bit amused.

_"...I think I'll take Lee instead of Gai,"_ Neji muttered, stabbing his chicken with unusual venom.

The shinobi wisely decided not to mention Gai or Lee anymore.

_"Our next order of business," _Shikamaru said, _"is, about the Philosopher's Stone. I've been thinking, Ed and Cody have to be related somehow. Cody called Ed 'Fullmetal' which is Ed's military name. Plus, Cody is a homunculus, which is a being made out of alchemy. Ed knows alchemy. Amestris is the place to learn alchemy, so Cody must come from Amestris."_

_"Has anyone ever told you you're a genius, Shikamaru?" _Naruto gaped.

_"Yes, I've been told many times."_

_"Well you're a genius!" _Naruto said, ignoring Shikamaru's statement.

_"I know. Anyway, if Cody is teamed up with Sasuke after the Stone, and someone else from Amestris is also here, then Ed and Mustang must be looking for the Stone."_

_"After one day, you figured this much out?" _Temari exclaimed, so proud of her boyfriend.

_"It's obvious." _Shikamaru stated, eating his first bite of food for dinner.

_"Only for you,"_ Naruto muttered, _"I still don't get it!"_


	5. Chapter 4

**Finally, FMA has been toppled as my favorite manga ^^. Now it's Eyeshield 21! My friends are already annoyed at me for talking about it too much to them on AIM… Lately I've been reading it…a lot…I'm on my 4th time rereading it…………..**

**I just felt the urge to add Gaara, Kankuro, Shino, and Lee :) Gaara and Kankuro because the Sand Sibs are AWESOME. Shino cuz he's just funny like that and all silent and stuff. Lee…well because he's Lee..**

Ed was lying awake in his bed. It was past midnight but he didn't care. His mind hovered to those sleepless nights where he watched Al just sit there, with nothing to do. The moon shined on, making it look like Al had tears running down his mask. He swore to himself, on those nights, just like any other night, that he would get Al's body back soon.. In less than a year. In less than a month...

And now, here he was, closer to the Stone then he had been since he met Marcoh. The Stone, just like now, was within these very walls. All that was left was to decipher to clues that were left behind. The dark intriguing mystery that was alchemy.

He began wondering why the hell there was magic in this world. It was just…_unnatural_. Of course, that was the view that nearly got him killed by homunculi. And of course the Philosopher's Stone was supposed to be impossible. But this magic was just…odd... After all that he gave to learn alchemy and become a State Alchemist, all that he had to do here was just wave a wand and get the same result? Possibly a better result? What about the law of equivalency? Even the homunculi, as demonstrated by Greed, followed equivalency, perhaps with the exception of Envy. Even the Philosopher's Stone followed equivalency, if not in a crude manner. So why was it in this world, where alchemy wasn't supposed to work, magic worked. Something even more absurd and unbelievable than anything he managed to dream up…except for that time with the monkeys…but that was a different story.

Ed closed his eyes before hearing a rustle of the curtains. He eyes snapped open fast enough to see a figure practically _fly_ out the window. Ed scrambled up to look through his own window. With his keen eyesight, he saw one…two…three…four…five. Five figures were rushing into the Forbidden Forest. It wasn't long before darkness over took them, and Ed couldn't see a thing. He could only guess at what they were doing. Ed chewed on his lip as he tried to think of all the possibilities of why they would be going in.

Wasn't that forest the dangerous, go in, and you die, forest? So why would anybody in their right mind go in. Of course, if there was anything that he learned these last 1 and almost a half days here at Hogwarts, was that barely anybody was in their right mind.

Ed shook his head. It didn't matter. He was here for one purpose, and once he fulfilled it, he could leave. Of course, if he happened to take out Envy and Wrath in the process, all the better.

There was nothing more to do, nothing less.

He fell into a light slumber, the figures vanished from his thoughts, just as quickly as they had vanished into the forest.

* * *

The Forbidden Forest was just as it always has been. Silent, deadly, and mysterious. Not a leaf rustled, not a creature made its appearance, not a thing stirred. Beneath the serene appearance, lays a whole other world of dangers and risks. It was survival of the fittest. It was kill or be killed. It was life. One wrong move in the forest, and you'd be dead in less than a second. It was a world where you never knew what was around the corner. It wasn't somewhere you could play around, and have fun.

_"DATTEBAYO!"_

Unless you were that idiot.

There was a rustle of leaves. A flurry of movement. A great creature raised its magnificent head and let out a roar of triumph. Not long after that, it roared again. This time in pain. The roar lasted a minute, before it finally died down. It was yelping, and crying, a mournful cry, let out for the entire world to hear. It let everyone hear the story of his life, and of his death. Stories of happiness, of survival, of despair, and of agony seeped into the roar.

A pink haired girl rubbed the lifeless Amorak's head sadly.

_"Poor thing," _she cooed to the giant wolf. A small whimper of clinging to the last thread of life was brought to her ears. Her eyes watered a bit, as she rubbed the silky smooth gray hair of the wolf. She was a ninja. A ninja didn't cry over a dead animal, nor did a ninja cry over dead comrades. It was bitter, but it was the life she had chosen. And she was going to stick with it.

_"Don't spend every minute regretting something. If we let it live, it would have killed us," _Shikamaru said solemnly, unlike his usual self.

_"I know, but..."_ Sakura trailed off. She wiped the silvery blue blood on a tree root and stood up, _"Let's work on the plan, then."_

They moved over to where Neji was sitting. His Byakugun was activated. Behind him, Naruto was trying to wrestle with a bear. Of course like all creatures of the Forest, it wasn't like the ones back home in Konoha. The 5 inch long claws, the dark blue fur, and the moss green scales upon the arms were big giveaways to that.

"RAAAAWWRRR!" the bear roared in Naruto's face. He blanched a bit at the putrid smell. Naruto immediately shut him up with a swift kick from his knees to the bear's jaws. While the bear was still reacting to the kick, Naruto gave the bear a strong punch to the stomach. The bear was blown away and Naruto came back for a bit while waiting for the bear to come back again.

_"Tch," _Neji growled, he relaxed and said, _"I still can't see anything there. I might like to add that it's particularly difficult when I have to watch Naruto's retarded fight with that bear."_

_"The great Byakugun has been defeated a second time! And no, that fight is not retarded. I'm training up to fight Fuzzy Brows when he gets here," _Naruto said cheerfully.

_"It's not good that the Byakugun doesn't work, Naruto-baka," _Temari said, striking Naruto on the head.

_"But why can't you see anything there? The Byakugun should be able to see anything within a radius, right?" _Sakura asked, sitting on the dusty ground. She peered curiously at the great castle that sat near them.

_"Why not?" _Shikamaru mused. _"I suppose it's because the Byakugun is also able to see chakra. Magic, being the raw form of chakra, still shows up. Exactly what do you see?"_

Everyone was much too used to Shikamaru not speaking what was on his mind when he was thinking to bother asking. Besides, he always elaborated (in a way that Naruto couldn't understand, mind you) anyway.

_"....A haze. I can see something behind the haze, but nothing that can actually be recognized. There a mist around the school too. Although it's much lighter." _Neji muttered, eyes trained on the castle.

_"Is it centered around somewhere?" _Shikamaru asked, deep in thought. His hands had moved into his own original handsign that let him think better..

_"...Yes, in the middle of the haze, although there are some areas where it seems to also shoot out, but nowhere as strong as the middle," _Neji answered, sweat rolling down his forehead despite the cold weather.

_"That makes sense," _Shikamaru muttered.

_"I don't get it!" _Naruto complained.

_"Baka! Wait till Shikamaru explains it," _Sakura growled.

_"Magic leaves traces, unlike chakra. Ninja can't afford to be messy. If chakra had traces, then enemy shinobi would be able to tell where others had already been. Plus, everyone has a signature magic or chakra, you'd be able to tell exactly where everyone has been, and who's been there," _Shikamaru said, _"Haven't you guys felt it these past days? Like the air is heavier than back home?"_

_"Now that you mention it...yeah," _Sakura said, thinking.

_"So now we know exactly where and I suppose the other areas where there is more magic would be the defenses."_

_"But that still doesn't explain why Neji-san couldn't see what the defenses were," _Temari pointed out.

_"...I don't know," _Shikamaru admitted.

_"NANI?" _Naruto exclaimed. _"How can you not know something? You're supposed to be a genius?"_

Neji hesitated.

_"Remember how Shikamaru said that chakra doesn't leave traces? If we, as in shinobi, were to leave traces, the Byakugun's secondary purpose, to see objects around them, wouldn't be there. The primary purpose is to see chakra whether it's within the body or released. The primary purpose, or course, outweighs the secondary. The chakra is the main priority, because if you see the chakra, you'll know where your enemy is. From the amount of chakra that shinobi use, and the amount of shinob generally in a fight, the traces would cover anything else," _Neji said.

All the other ninja blinked.

_"That's one of the secrets of the Hyuuga clan so if any of you, especially, you Naruto, breathe a word of this, I'll give you a very painful death," _Neji stated.

Naruto didn't have a doubt that he would. He shivered. Had the temperature gone down? Not that he thought it was possible. Really! It must be less than half the temperature of Konoha in the dead of winter!

"RAWR!" an extremely pissed blue bear roared. Spittle went flying.

_"Well, I've got to go!" _Naruto said happily, glad for an excuse to leave Neji.

He jumped at the bear to tackling it, taking special care to avoid the long claws. This time, the bear didn't budge. Naruto smiled with anticipation of a great fight. He gripped the bears shoulders and used his knee to kick the bottom of the bears jaw. He extended that leg and kicked the bear up in the air.

_"U-ZU-MA-KI RENDAN!" _Naruto yelled, striking the bear multiple times.

_"No matter how you look at it, it's still Sasuke-kun's technique," _Sakura sighed.

_"That was a nice workout," _Naruto said happily, skipping away from the unconscious bear.

_"Don't be so loud next time," _Neji said, taking a second to shoot a disdainful look to Naruto.

He went back to his conservation with Shikamaru.

_"So when would be the best time to strike?" _Neji asked.

Shikamaru was silent for a second, before saying, _"Halloween."_

_"Hall-o-weeeen?" _Naruto said, butchering the word cheerfully.

_"Yes, Halloween. We can't wait too long. Sasuke-san doesn't look like he wants to be here in the first place. He'd want to get this over with. During Halloween, everybody will be distracted. The teachers will be busy trying to stop students from pulling pranks that day. Uchiha-san and Cody-san might attack at that day too," _Shikamaru said.

_"That's only if they care as much as we do if they get," _Sakura mentioned.

_"Shika-kuun, she's right." _Temari quipped. _"Knowing Sasuke, if he gets caught, he's bound to be ready to escape and maybe even kill despite the already miniscule chance that he's going to get caught."_

_"He knows how angry Orochimaru will be if he does not get the Stone," _Shikamaru interjected. _"Orochimaru's desperate for the Stone. It's his key for immortality. No matter how strong Sasuke is, even in his current state, Orochimaru can defeat Sasuke."_

There was a silence, broken by, who else but Naruto.

_"Awww, why can't we do it today?"_ Naruto pouted.

_"Hurry up and grow up, Naruto," _Neji snapped. _"This isn't some D-rank mission where the worst that will happen is you get knocked over the head by Tsunade-sama. This mission could either revive Konoha or destroy it. We need time to learn more about magic and to plan our attack."_

Naruto lowered his head slightly. He knew what Neji was saying was true…but…

_"Hey, Naruto. Think about it this way. You'll have more time to think of a way to beat the crap out of Sasuke-kun and drag him back home," _Sakura smiled gently.

_"Oh, I'm not scared of that," _Naruto said, _"I was just trying to think of what could be worse than Tsunade-baachan bonking me on the head."_

Nobody believed it, but they all chuckled, wishing it were as simple as that….

* * *

All was right this morning in the Gryffindor first year dormitory. Everyone was still snoozing happily in their bed, and even Ed seemed to be relaxed, and not angry at some frog or whatever. Martel was patrolling the door, just as she did yesterday. Tail up and alert, she noticed that the clock had chimed softly that it was 7:00 already. She pounced on each of the boys in order, just like she saw Gamakichi do yesterday. It looked like fun. But of course, if you include that Martel had claws…that tended to be out most of the time…it sure as hell wasn't fun for the students.

"Yow!" Neville screamed as he was rudely awaken from his nice (kinda) dream. The scream alerted the other students and managed to narrowly avoid Martel's deadly looking claws.

Although it did work as a great alarm clock for the other students, Ed, being Ed, was always the exception. He still was snoozing just as happily as he was 10 minutes ago. Martel decided not to horribly mutilate her owner, and leaped gracefully onto his bed.

Ed's nose twitched. He opened his mouth to sneeze and something furry brushed inside his mouth. His eyes snapped open, while he tried his best to get that _fur_ out of his mouth. His line of view was smothered by a orange furry tail that he immediately recognized as Martel's tail. She purred happily as she managed to get her master to finally get up.

"Martel!!!" Ed roared angrily. She replied by whimpering, wondering why the hell that her master was so angry.

"Somehow, I don't think you're much of a morning person,"

Ed's eyes snapped open.. There was something wet on his cheek. Something red. Something kind of rubbery. Something that was unusually like GAMAKICHI!

Ed took his fingers and plucked Gamakichi right off his cheek, brought him to eye level, and …

…blew a raspberry at him. So much for the suave, mature State Alchemist, or at least the soon to be one.

It made Ed feel very much happier.

Ron sighed before letting out a large yawn from his own crimson red four-poster bed. No hilarious Gamakichi vs. Ed battles today.

Martel looked up and pawed at Gamakichi as she was wondering what the hell her master was doing. He was acting like the imbecilic frog! After all, sticking out his tongue like that was nothing more than acting like a frog, even worse than actually being the frog.

That frog…that juicy plump looking frog…she put her weight on her forelegs and pounced at the frog. But not before Ed had moved Gamakichi out of the way. Martel saw this a little too late, and her paws scrambled, with nails out, to claw on to the ground, stopping her movement. She sighed, very relieved, as one of her nails clawed onto the bed sheets; she was only a second away from colliding head first into the mirror.

"Martel?" Ed said curiously, picking Martel up by the scruff of her neck.

_It's all your fault! You shouldn't have moved him out of the way!_ Martel hissed furiously, trying to claw at Ed's face.

"You know guys, I don't think I'm a very good animal person…" Ed said, holding Martel out further as not to damage his handsome face. She still swung with all her might at him. The automail looked like it would hurt him…a lot…

"I think so too," Harry chuckled as Martel continued to hiss and Gamakichi was practically laughing at Ed in that odd froggy way of his.

"Hey!" I don't want to Naruto to get all mad at me for you eating Gamakichi!" Ed defended…uselessly.

"What!? Gamakichi's eaten?" Naruto wailed, suddenly getting up from his bed. "Nooooo! And he had such a short life too…"

"He's not eaten, Naruto. Don't worry, Martel," Ed said with a glare, "wanted to eat him. But fear not, for I made sure that he is safe! He's on my desk….or somewhere like that."

"He's not on the desk!" Naruto wailed.

Ed glanced back at the desk to see that Gamakichi was not there. He looked back at Martel…who had a suspiciously froggy looking leg sticking out her mouth. Naruto followed his glance and, before Ed even saw, Naruto rushed to Martel, and pried a very wet Gamakichi out of her mouth.

"Gamakichi!" Naruto cried happily.

Ed stared out Martel and decided, "Whatever anyone says, you sure as hell act just like Martel."

"Hey Harry?"

"Hm?"

"I think that this year will be _very_ interesting," Ron said, grinning. And so concluded another morning in the boys dormitory, for the first years, in the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

The boys walked into the Great Hall for breakfast to find everyone inching away from Neji. His fearsome glare to anyone who happened to wander within a 5 foot radius certainly helped. Of course, the veins popping out near the sides of his eyes did a great job at keeping everyone away. However, there was one boy with pineapple shaped hair, Ed remembered his name as Shika-something (really, these Japanese names were too hard to remember), seemed completely fine with Neji's death glared pointed to him.

He sighed and muttered something hat sounded oddly like, _"This is too troublesome."_

Neji growled, and pushed up, off of the bench and stalked away, an expression that plainly said, "Mess with me and you die." It might have been Ed's imagination, but he was pretty sure that he could see an aura just radiating out of him.

"It seems my eternal rival is not feeling the spring-time of youth! (1)" Harry heard. He looked to the source of the, er, _loud _(to be an understatement) shout. What he saw, putting it nicely, shocked him. A boy…in green spandex…with orange leg warmers. Orange! There was no worse color clash.. But the color clash wasn't even the oddest thing about him. It was his deathly white teeth, the brightest thing Harry had ever seen. It was even brighter than those Muggler commercials that his aunt had watched of toothpaste. Although he was enough to take a good long stare at and still not be able to tear your eyes off him, his companions were similar.

One was a red head with what looked like a thick layer of eyeliner and a large tattoo of some Japanese symbol on the corner of his forehead. He was dressed in a loose robe-like outfit with a sash from his right shoulder to his waist. There was a thing that looked like the headband that Temari wore tied around the sash. And what drew Harry's attention the most was the large gourd on his back…it looked heavy. The boy looked haughtily at the crowd of students that stared and gaped at them.

There was one with a very high collar, nearly extending up to his eyes. He wore sunglasses, although it wasn't very bright in the Great Hall. His hood was also pulled low over his head, making very little space to be seen. There seemed to be a soft, yet distinct buzzing sound coming from him…

And the final person, was a boy with a hood-like hat coming over his head, with points at the sides, looking like a cat's. There was purple face paint drawn onto his, well, face. He was dressed in all black, with a circle half yellow and half red on his chest. There was a_ thing_ on his back wrapped in bandage like things, with what looked like fur sticking from the top. Harry couldn't even hazard a guess at what it was. And if he could, it would probably be wrong anyway.

But even all that wasn't the thing that drew Harry's attention. It was Temari, usually acting like the bad girl, the one that always gets her way and _never_ acted like a little girl, running at 2 of the boys, the two with something on their backs, and ruffling their hair.

"My little brothers! I missed you too!" Temari laughed.

"Temari, I would suggest that you remove your hand soon, or else you'll die a very sandy death," the red-head said coldly.

"Heh, heh…" Temari laughed nervously. She gingerly lifted her hand off the now very messed up red hair.

"Gaara!" Naruto yelled cheerfully. He waved a large wave, making his entire body go in the back and forth motion. Gaara glanced at the energetic blonde and gave a curt nod.

"Er…hello, but who are you?" Hermione asked, extending a hand.

"Gaara Sabuko," was the curt reply from him.

"Kankuro Sabuko," the guy dressed in black muttered, glaring at anybody who had the nerve to stare at him.

"I am Konoha's green beast, Rock Lee!" Lee gave his thumbs-up pose. Hermione blinked a couple times.

"I have to spend a year…with him…" the boy in black said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"That's Kankuro, my idiotic brother. Gaara's my psychopathic brother. Weird how they're both crazy," Temari laughed.

Hermione laughed nervously.

"As if you're not," Gaara said quietly.

"What about you?" Hermione asked the boy nearly completely covered in cloth.

"…"

"…"

They went on like that for a bit, until Sakura noticed them and decided to spare her house-mate from Shino's stare.

"That's Shino, he's not much of a talker, but for some people, like his teammates, they can understand he's saying, " Sakura said, she added, "Not that I think I ever will."

"Er, nice to meet you, Shino," Hermione said.

Shino stared at her for a few seconds longer before turning away.

"An odd guy, fellow isn't he?" a voice said from behind Hermione. She jumped slightly before turning around and recognizing him as Percy, the one that she was talking to last night during dinner.

"I guess," Hermione said.

"He wouldn't talk no matter how much we talked to him. Fred and George have already been trying to plan out some way to get him to talk. Merlin help us all," Percy added.

"Why?" Hermione asked. "Surely they're pranks aren't dangerous?"

"Dangerous? No, but loud and annoying? Usually," Percy said distastefully.

"Pranks?" Sakura mused. "Try and make sure that Naruto doesn't catch wind of this.. Next thing you'll know, the walls will be painted with- ah- crude paintings. He did that to the mountain with our Hokage's faces on them."

"Hokage?" Percy asked,

"Our leader," Sakura supplied. "Really, I sometimes wonder what it is going through his head. And if my hunches are correct…nothing."

Percy frowned unapprovingly.

"Good morning all of you," Dumbledore said, standing up. "I believe that everybody has already arrived for breakfast. I'm sure you are all wondering who these new students are. Due to a mix-up at the Ministry, they were sadly not able to arrive yesterday. Two of them are from Konoha Ninja Academy, and two from Suna Ninja Academy. I trust that you will also treat them warmly. Now let's start with sorting them."

"Aburame, Shino."

Dumbledore brought out the ragged, dusty brown hat again and placed it on Shino's awaiting and unwilling head.

The hat, being huge, covered what was left showing of Shino's face. Naruto stifled a giggle at the sight.

_Hm, it's awfully early. I wasn't even done with my nap…what an odd person._

What the Hat heard was the buzzing of entire families of beetles, flies, and various other less common insects.. He could barely even hear Shino's thoughts.

_They're my insects, _Shino thought to the Hat.

_My, my possessive are we? Now let's get on with sorting. I see that you care for your friends to an extent, and quite brave. Although it seems it's practically a job requirement for shinobi. Hm, very intelligent, too. Ravenclaw would do good for you. Cunning, too, so Slytherin would be fine too. What house do you want?_

_I don't care, _came the blunt reply.

_Well then, RAVENCLAW, it is._

"Rock, Lee,"

"YOSH!" the green clad ninja exclaimed happily.

_Quite loud, aren't you, my dear boy? _the Hat chuckled.

_I'm not you're dear or your boy though…_Lee thought, tilting his head in confusion, _Or at least I certainly hope not…_

The Hat chuckled, _Well, I can clearly see that you aren't the sharpest kunai in the bunch, as I believe the expression goes. That rules out Ravenclaw, and you obviously aren't a Slytherin. I can see that you are brave, and would throw yourself into a fight if it means defending those that you care for. That means GRYFFINDOR is the house you shall be in._

"Sabuko, Gaara."

_Interesting, another Jinchuuriku, _the Hat murmured into Gaara's head.

**_Who the fuck are you?_** another voice asked rudely. It was, obviously, Ichibi.

_A rather rude one at that,_ the Hat muttered.

**_I heard that!_**

_If you would please get on with it, I will make sure that you will do not die a sandy death,_ Gaara thought, listening to the two bicker like old men. Which they probably were now that he thought about it.

_Hey! I am not old. And fine, fine. Let's see, ah, you had a horrible past. You killed like a serial killer when you were younger, but you have been trying to change ever since you met that Naruto kid._

**_Ugh, that fucker. I wanna rematch with him! I'll show him that I might be Ichibi, but, I'm the strongest! It doesn't matter which Tailed Beast I'm fighting, I'll beat the fuck out of 'im! Could be Kyuubi for all the shit that I'll care!_**

_Shut up, _Gaara thought. Sometimes, it really was annoying that there was such a rude and crude-mouthed person living in his stomach area. He shuddered slightly. _Put me in either Ravenclaw or Slytherin. _

_Really? _the Hat wondered, bewildered. He was pretty sure that the kid wanted to be in Gryffindor with Naruto.

_Of course. I can beat up Shikamaru if he tries anything on my sister. And I can defend her if I'm in Slytherin. Temari's not a Slytherin, she's changing. They must be giving her hell. I can control her, make sure she doesn't do anything serious. On the other hand, I can get away with anything, I'm the youngest Kazekage, Gaara_ thought smugly.

_If you say so, and you're quite smart aren't you? Your sister didn't mention it, but I could tell that she wanted to be in Slytherin as a spy on Sasuke and that Cody kid, _the Hat said, _Well, you'll be in SLYTHERIN! Although I don't understand how being the youngest would influence that._

_Most people don't_. Gaara stood up, glad to have that snoopy hat off his head and strode to the Slytherin table to sit next to his sister. He glared at anyone who had the unfortunate chance to be caught staring. Which was everybody.

Finally, Dumbledore called the last new student, a "Sabuko Kankuro."

_Not the brightest, eh? _The Hat thought, searching through Kankuro's memories.

_Hey! _Kankuro defended himself. _Don't put me in Slytherin. I finally get a chance to be away from my psychotic bro, and I do NOT want to be with him again. And not Gryffindor either. Lee annoys the shit out of me! Naruto too._

_Er…ok…_the Hat thought hesitantly. _Well you won't be able to make it into Ravenclaw, so HUFFLEPUFF it is!_

The Hufflepuffian's clamored and cheered as they heard released the breath they didn't know they were holding. Finally, after praying to Merlin, they had finally gotten one of the exchange students! Granted it was one that looked like an idiot, but still! Now they weren't loners.

* * *

Greenhouse 8 was the home to the most boring plants alive in the world, Wizarding, Alchemical, Ninja, and of course, the normal one too. It was one of the dirtiest, smelliest, and disgustingest places in Hogwarts, and that was saying something if you've ever seen the Gryffindor boys' dormitory…not that I'm pointing fingers at anyone. Anyway, of course, it was just delightful to the poor students who, for the half hour or so, were yanking some slimy, boring ol' plants out of nasty manure-like smelling dirt (guess where the fertilizer came from), and stuffing them into a different pot of nasty, manure-like smelling dirt. Simply _delightful_. Especially for a certain alchemist.

"Have I ever said that I really don't like plants?" Ed muttered darkly.

"Nope," Naruto answered cheerfully to Ed's rhetorical question. He didn't even bother moving soil out of the way and shoved the poor plant in. It squirmed in protest.

"Well now you know," Ed grumbled.

"Ed, I get the feeling you don't like anything much," Ron grunted as he struggled to pull the leafy green plant out.

"No, I don't," Ed said. He was annoyed at his jacket getting all muddy at the sleeves. But it wasn't like he could roll them up, was it?

"He's just really annoyed about Mustang, or at least not looking forward at all to our next class," Harry said, wiping his brow with the sleeve of his arm, and in the process, wiping some manure smelling dirt on his forehead.

"Shut up you guys, and start working!" Sakura scolded. "Look! Neville, Hermione, and I are all done already! Lavender and Pavarti too!"

Despite having done it already, she didn't look the least bit dirty.

"All right! If I can do this before Neji can, my love for Sakura-chan will be returned!" Lee shouted cheerfully. Sakura's cheeks had a pink tinge…it turned red, and finally, into a crimson line across her cheeks.

"Shut up!!" Sakura screamed as she punched Lee right in the jaw. He went flying.

"What do you think we're trying doing?" Naruto muttered, staring at the wiggling plant. "It squirms! Plants aren't supposed to do that!"

"Besides, the lazy kid, what's his name, he didn't even start!" Ed defended. He was not enjoying the day…at all.

"Shikamaru!" Sakura scolded, turning around, and said threateningly, "Do you want me to get Temari here?"

The thought of that can make even the laziest lazy-ass get up. Shikamaru's eyes snapped open and he started to pull the plant out of the original pot. In an amazingly short amount of time he finished the stuffing it back in the pot. Perhaps Sakura's glare helped. Or perhaps it was that feeling that Temari would somehow find about this…and tell him that he wasn't doing enough and was too lazy…in a very painful way…He was gonna die! In a way that would involve high speeds of wind rushing at him. _Oh joy. _

"There, Shikamaru's done now," Sakura said proudly. "Now you idiots better hurry up! …Do I have to say without killing the poor plant?"

She added the last part in an exasperated tone. They glanced at Naruto, who was doing his best at shoving the plant forcefully in the soil.

"Apparently," they all said in dead-panned voice. The pink-haired girl sighed. Naruto ignored her as he finished up the poor torturing of the plant. He looked around the green house, poking and nudging the different plants periodically.

"Just let it go, it's too troublesome," Shikamaru yawned.

"You lazy-butt!" Sakura said. "You think everything is too troublesome."

"I'm glad you think so, too," Shikamaru said. He reclined back again on a leafy plant and decided to take a short…nap…zzzzz.

Sakura sighed as she saw Shikamaru snoozing within the midst of the plants. Oh well, as long as she wasn't going to be blamed when he realizes it was Twiggle Vine, a rash causing plant. Of course with Shikamaru, he'd probably be too lazy to even grow the rashes.

"You should be more careful!" Sakura yelled to Shino as he left some bees to do the job. "It's a very delicate plant, as Naruto should know by know," Naruto smiled weakly through a pus covered face, "if you're bees poke it too much it's going to burst and they'll drown!

"This plant is in season for pollinating," Shino murmured. A bug crawled out from who-knows-where and who-wants-to-know-where. Sakura had to use all her self-control from squealing. She sighed. She just couldn't win today, huh? She turned to Neji, who _hopefully_ was done potting his Vine. She sighed in relief as she saw that he had finished.

But, that was short-lived as he was snapping at any person who turned his way…including Professor Sprout. Sakura sighed. Today was _not_ going well.

* * *

There were many things Edward Elric did not mind doing. Going after some freaky dudes that seemed bent on terminating everyone else on the planet was one of them. Barging into a building full of enemies with absolutely no plan whatsoever was one of them too. But, going into a room…with Mustang in it…and a bunch of snot-nosed kids…He shivered. It was _not_ going to be pleasant. Plus, he also had to _learn_ something! There was nothing worse than that. Ed could feel the smirk that he was sure was going to be on Mustang's face. He didn't like it.

_Might as well get this over with…_Ed thought miserably.

"Ah, the Fullmetal Alchemist finally decided to join us," Mustang smirked, from his desk.

Ed stalked over to an empty seat as far back in the room as he could get. Perfect! He could barely see that Mustang's nasty, annoying, arrogant head.

"Har har har, Colonel Bastard," Ed laughed sarcastically.

"That's Professsor, here," Mustang said.

"I'm sorry, Professor Bastard," Ed shot back. He wrinkled his nose in distaste, "It just doesn't have the same ring as Colonel Bastard."

"Unless you want detention_ with me_ for the rest of the week, you will shut up. Ah, having this much authority and being able to enforce it is so wonderful," Mustang chuckled to himself.

The class stayed silent. Smart class.

* * *

It was the first class with Slytherins of the school year. The first class with Cody, a.k.a. Wrath. Ed wasn't sure he'd like the class very much. Really, who would be able to stand being in the same room as those psychotic two, Cody and, from what he heard from the ninja, Sasuke too. He had spent enough time around crazies, thank you very much, and did not want to spend any more time. Mustang, Russell, Mustang, Envy, and Mustang were just a few of them…did he mention Mustang yet? No? Well Mustang should be on the list too.

Mustang should be so proud of his short little subordinate. After all, no one got such a _loyal, caring_ subordinate like that anymore.

But back to the point, he was _not _going to enjoy a whole hour in Wrath's company. And what was even crazier was that Naruto looked positively pumped up to go to class. How could anyone enjoy school? Unless, of course, you were going to the school to look for some stone that could do pretty much anything, but they definitely were not…were they? Ed shook his head, of course not. What kind of people would go treasure hunting like that and brought Naruto, that Lee kid, or Gaara, or Neji, well, pretty much any of them? The only sane ones were Sakura and …and… well Sakura was the _only_ sane one.

That Jiraiya person must be crazy…which he thought was obvious. Anyone that can get along well with Mustang was crazy…except Hawkeye of course. She was the exception because she could turn him into Swiss cheese, which was something even alchemists couldn't even do.

Women.

There was proof that women were crazy too. For example, every time that he did something wrong and ended up in the hospital, Winry would come by and inflict more injuries on him, through her wrench…now that he thought about it, Major Armstrong did that too…not with a wrench, but with his muscles…he could be one…could he? Now _that_ was a disturbing thought.

"You bastard!" was heard from a certain blonde headed ninja. Any guesses?

Ed sighed. He should've seen this coming, remembering how Naruto was yelling about how he was going to beat the shit out of Sasuke and drag him back home if he had to. He reaaaally should've expected this. He glanced at Sasuke, who had a amused smirk on his lips. He watched as Naruto made rude gestured at Sasuke while yelling at Sasuke and while Jiraiya sighed in exasperation. Jiraiya finally got up, walked over behind Naruto, clamp his hand over Naruto's, and lift Naruto up and nearly threw him out the window.

"Pervy sensei!" Naruto pouted as he climbed up the wall, to the window. He barely noticed the other students as they all gaped in wonder of the feat while he pouted and moaned to Jiraiya about how nasty his hand tasted and how weak he'd gotten.

Jiraiya got madder and madder as he listened to Naruto's rambling. Until finally, Sakura came up forward and gave Naruto a nice large_ smack_ across his face that seemed to make him go through the stone walls, and through the next stone wall…and the next…

Note to self, never get Sakura mad. Ed looked at the fuming Sakura again. Ever. And there was more proof that women were crazy. Joy. And he learned one more thing. Sakura was not sane. Not at all. Which meant, out of all of the ninja that came absolutely zilch were sane...comforting...

"Beautiful Sakura! Your fire of youth is eternal!" Rock Lee said happily, with little hearts for eyes. Little did he know that instead of the hearts he was expecting in Sakura's he got an evil looking glare, that could rival Orochimaru's...or Dante's...or even the boogey monster! There was something weird about him...the monster..not Lee. Well you never know, Lee was kind of odd...

"Drop it, Sakura" Gaara hissed annoyedly. Sakura might have been mad, but she was no idiot. She knew when to let Gaara run around killing people, or in this case, run around and controlling people.

With Gaara's history of being sadistic, that might be a bit scary. Just a bit.

"I dropped it," Sakura whimpered.

"Stupid brats," Jiriaya muttered, rubbing his temples. If he rubbed them anymore, Sakura guaranteed that there would be bruises. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for Tsunade to send so many ninjas over...Just maybe.

"I say that being a ninja with all those super powers and stuff makes them bloody mad," Ron muttered.

"I heard that!" Temari glared.

Ed shivered slightly. This was gonna be a long year...

* * *

**(1)- I'm not sure if that's Gai's talking or Lee's; it's been a while since I last read Gai or Lee's stuff. I know that Gai calls Kakashi his eternal rival, but I'm not sure who 'spring time of youth's' is.**

**Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I didn't like this chapterrrrr. Plus I bet you all thought I was dead, right????? :) Well I'm not, but nearly there. My history teacher decided that he wanted to become more sadistic, he already was quite, and gave us piles of hw. My English teacher, who's prone to spasms, also decided that she wanted to become more sadistic. Thus, more piles of hw. And of course, the devil I got for my science teacher gave us so much friggin hw. And I can barely understand the math. Woe is me…:( What does woe even mean…? **

**Plus, I've been drawing a lot :) My English teacher checked our binders and she was like o_O Did you draw all this in class???????? Oh I've been reaaaaaaaally lazy lately too…**


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